Although Said was imaginary and I never really hated her I understand that it's not an easy world to grow up in. People will come and attempt to ruin things in your life, you won't get on with everybody and there will be people we would quite happily class as 'enemies'. They sometimes don't even know they're our enemies. We smile and wave at them happily - like nothing's going on, when really we're plotting a viscous tweet about them right there and then (that'll teach them...). Other times it's obvious we don't like them. Some of us our blessed with a chronic face disorder which makes us look displeased all the time, especially when we see them. We know it's not right, or Christian - but sometimes we can't help ourselves, especially if this person has done something that's not particularly Holy (even more so if they're a Christian - heaven forbid they do something wrong!)
This subject is almost a taboo, it's again one of those things that we can so easily talk about, but putting it into practice is a whole other kettle of fish. As Christians we are taught to love other people; 'But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you' (Matthew 5:44) but this is so tough! We live in a world where we're meant to hate our ex's and our friend's ex's and our friend's friend's ex's and our ex's friend's dog's ex's - and it's easy to do so. It is so easy to find bad things to say and think about people, we find it difficult (especially when it's tough loving them) to show kindness toward people. This is where we need to change. We need to look at ourselves and our attitudes toward other people and alter a few things.
Hatred brings out bitterness in people, it brings out the worst side in the nicest people. We struggle to feel good if we have an issue with somebody, but worst of all we struggle with feeling close to God. It is written that when we have hatred we may never get to know God or be close to God in a full and tangible sense; 'Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in the darkness' (1 John 2:9) This Bible verse in particular resonates with me. When I was younger I fell out with my older brother, Alex and told my mum I hated him. My mum quoted that verse to me and I felt awful - I vowed to myself I'd never hate him ever again (I took the word brother to be literal at this point) - however, I still argue with Alex now..I don't hate him, but he is annoying at times! We cannot hate somebody and also be in the light with Christ. Hatred does not allow that - you have probably heard of the quote; 'Darkness is a lack of light' well hatred is a lack of love. If we have hatred toward other people we struggle to find love in Christ. But it is a struggle and it's real - it's difficult to make it ever go away. When we have a certain attitude toward other Christians - that is where it can be truly damaging. We are told not to speak badly of people chosen by God (basically don't bad mouth preachers, pastors, ministers etc.) but to encourage them. However, when we find ourselves in situations where we have anger toward people it's difficult to get out of it. But the damage this does, not only to you but the people around you and the person you hate is detrimental. Other Christians are not easier to love then non-Christians, but we do all love Christ and if we find ourselves bad mouthing them to other people - especially non-Christians we get ourselves into a downward spiral of bad witnessing and total and utter wrong doing in the eyes of God.
I get that it's tough, it's something that I really struggle with myself - loving people who have done wrong by me - let alone praying for them - is a pretty foreign concept. But it's genuinely the only real way we are able to get over it. Hatred gets you nowhere, love gets you through. Before we come to Christ we must settle our differences, now this is a tough on - sometimes you can't actually do it, because the person isn't with you/doesn't know you even hate them, but getting it right with them in your heart is where it really matters. Being able to love somebody with your heart is effort, but with prayer and petition it becomes one of those things that is easy when Christ has control. Pray into the situations, when there is real hatred pray for a softening of your heart and a blessing over their life (it sounds like the worst thing ever, but it's so good - it gives such freedom!), pray that God will help you and enable you to forgive them. If you do need to sort it with the person, seek God before every situation/conversation with them. Ask Him to guide you with what to say and what to do. Love is easy once you get the hang of it. Only when we have had complete freedom from ill feeling toward people are we able to get deeper into God's grace and love. I'm not saying for one moment that I never 'hate' anybody, or talk badly about someone who has done wrong by me - but that has got me nowhere and I can honestly say that the only way I have been able to deal with it is through prayer and petition, blessing and honouring all that the particular person has done (and for a huge prayer for softening my heart).
Hating people is easy, we are pretty much taught how to do it. Forgiveness is tough. I found it difficult to forgive Said (and she wasn't real), but the freedom you get from it is unattainable through hatred. Love always wins.
Blessings.
May
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