Hello blogger, my old friend

Hello friends, it's been a while.

Two very big things have happened to me in the past few months. I shall start with the most recent; I got engaged! 💍💍💍 Yes, I am super super excited and I could dedicate a whole post to it but that can be for another time/if people actually care about it (I really don't want to bombard people with all that stuff - especially because as Christians we seem obsessed with people getting married (I mean the amount of questions and worrying looks I've been getting in the last year because I'm 22, in a committed relationship and not married - I mean oh my goodness)). [DISCLAIMER: Marriage is going to be amazing and God-filled and something I believe, for me, God wants. But it is not for everyone. Fellowship is for everyone, marriage doesn't have to be.]

The other thing is incredible, something that I don't think I would ever really be able to talk about this (which makes me sound like a really class Christian), but I have been set free, set free from a life of anxiety and worry.

The last time I blogged I spoke a lot about mental health and the church, this is something that is very dear to me. For over five years I have suferred from severe anxiety. Back then, when I was 16 I would worry about what people would think of me, exams and boys.  When I got to university it became worse (this time I was dealing with guilt - especially if I wasnt focused in God at that particular time of my life), but still I would worry about exams and what people would think of me. Now, since leaving university my anxiety has become focused on my health and focusing/obsessing of things Ive done in the past. I would constantly go up for prayer at church or events in order to be healed from this. But nothing would happen (I would have to do that super awkward smile when someone eagerly waits for you to say you feel great, but you don't).  So, I know what it's like to feel almost as if nothing is working and like you're abandoned.
    So safe to stay after over five years of struggling with anxiety I almost had given up. I've read loads of blog posts, bought books, listened to sermons and still it wasnt stopping. In fact it felt as if my anxiety had gotten worse. I would have days when I wouldn't be able to get out of bed, or I would have to leave rooms if my anxiety had gotten so bad. I found it very difficult to look to God, I couldn't pray as my mind wouldn't focus because anytime I tried to empty my mind I would worry and obsess and remember that really stupid thing I did six months ago and wonder why that man was looking at me so strangely on the bus and OH MY GOODNESS WHAT IS THAT LUMP...Yeah safe to say, I was NOT in a good place.
        It was at this point I decided to go home, I didn't go for any reason, just wanted some free food for a bit. As a family we went to a church event. It was a pretty good service (I mean, they had a buffet at the end - and like I said, I'm about the free food). I cant remember exactly what the sermon was about (how bad is that), but at the end they did a call for prayer. Again, it wasn't anything specific and most people were worshipping/starting the queue for the buffet, but I decided to go up for prayer. Two ladies prayed for me and I didnt really feel any different, just really calm. As I left the event I wasn't anxious or worried (which was huge because right up to this I had felt dreadful). i was able to laugh and actually, strangely, breathe properly (so cliche - but so true).  The anxiety I had been overwhelmedmwith for years had gone. I was free.

From then till now I have had this amazing sense of freedom and peace. It is incredible. It also has come at the perfect time. I have learnt to trust in God and His timing. Knowing His word does stand firm and does stand against my circumstance.

I know how frustrating it is to feel alone, to feel as if prayer isnt working. Anxiety is a lonely place. The ability anxiety has to cut you off from the rest of the world is astounding, the ability it has to make you sound stupid, constantly repeating yourself, worrying about little things...I get it. Through Christ, through prayer and through His timing I am free.

Just a wee testimony to say i am back and will be trying to blog more, sorry ive been rubbish!

blessings xx

The struggle is real. (Part 2) - So what can we do?

So, as we saw in the last blog I can totally ramble far too much, I promise you I will try not to do that for this one..

We can all suffer from poor mental health. It doesn't matter who you are, rich or poor, pastor or congregation, man or woman - mental illness is something that is very real and very prominent right now. So how, as the church can we make a difference?

• Don't act like Christians are immune from having poor mental health.

It's simple, as Christians we are not immune from having a mental illness. Yes, having Jesus does help - we know a God who is all loving, who is the all-seeing father and redeemer of all, but it doesn't mean that we are never going to suffer from poor mental health. Just like as Christians we are not immune from getting cancer - yes, we have Jesus so with that we have hope but that does not offer us complete immunity. The problem with mental health is that nobody can see it. It's so easy to put on a smile and crack a few jokes, but nobody can really see what's going on (it's also very difficult to explain, especially to people who may not understand). As Christians we need to accept that it's an illness therefore it needs the same attention any other illness would get. Once we begin to accept that everyone, including ourselves, can be affected by this we are able to work toward a more accepting place for sufferers to come to in order to find safety and sanctuary.

       In addition to this, we need to be totally honest. If you are in a position where you are able to talk about it, talk about mental health, then do so. Allow people to know that they aren't alone, as well as having Jesus, they have their brothers and sisters around them who know exactly how they feel. Once we begin to admit that we too can and have suffered from mental health but yet we have a hope - we may not be cured, we may not be able to cure you. But Jesus can heal and Jesus can give hope. 

• Allow people to know that a church is a place of safety and sanctuary.

As I mentioned, poor mental heath is an illness, so we need to make sure we treat it like that. If one of our brothers/sisters came into church after a cancer diagnosis they would be welcomed with open arms, tears of sympathy, hands on prayer and endless offers of lunch/coffee meet ups. We wouldn't just whisper about their condition, put them at the end of your prayer list and be done with it, so why should we do this with mental illness. We need to begin to treat church as a place that people come to when they're weary, when they need to be uplifted, a place where the mentally ill can come to feel accepted and loved. If you know if somebody is suffering, be it from having a bad day, a bad week, poor mental health etc. then take the time to pray with them, offer to take them out, ask them how things are going, cook for them, allow them to cry on you - be  there for them. (Also, a great thing to do is educate yourself! Try looking up information on mental health & the churches attitudes toward it (as well as what the Bible says about it)). If you put an effort into something like that, making an effort to get to know the illness they're suffering from then you can approach it with a knowledge - as well as getting the Biblical knowledge to back it up with too, it could honestly help change someone's life. To know that there are people who are willing to pray with you, not just tell you to pray, or put you on their prayer list is incredible. Jesus answers prayers and He has set us free, so why not proclaim that for the people who crave freedom the most.

• Don't hate on medication - it does work!

So many people stay away from medication, I did it (mainly for health reasons), but if the doctor is telling you to go on medication, then you probably should! Jesus does heal, but He also gave the doctors skills to be able to create the medication needed. He also can work through the doctors in the treatments you have offered to you (such as CBT etc.). It still can be totally Jesus, but just through different means than you think.

• Together, we can start ending the shame!!

No longer should we live in a world where we are ashamed to talk about mental health - but more than too eager to talk openly about sex. Lets get rid of the stigma from a Christian perspective. As a church we should be able to be the first place that ends the stigma, we should be the place where people go first - where they want to go to find freedom. We are Jesus' hands and feet and we are made to go to the dark places, we are being prepared for battle - this doesn't just mean a worldly battle that we  have to fight, but also in mental health. We can fight to change the way that we look at mental health as a group of people, as Jesus' disciples we can learn to be more accepting and loving of those who have been cast out. Open your arms, eyes, hearts and prayers to those most in need and understand just what is needed.

We as a church are to work together to end  the stigmatization of mental illness, to allow people to know and understand the true heart of Jesus and what it means to have hope and freedom. 

Blessings 

May

*Disclaimer: Just like to add, I 100% know God is a healing God, but I also know that He does it in His timing, so sometimes, when the timing doesn't make sense to us, we struggle to see it. God totally does heal mental illness and set the captive free, but we must work toward making the church a place for those who suffer most.

Hello friends

So it's been a while! Google tells me the last time I posted was in April 2015, I'm sorry. Between moving house, family illness and starting a new job I've been struggling with finding anytime to really blog. But I promise, now things are settling I will get back into the swing of things.

   I'm also going to be completely honest and tell you that with my life getting a whole lot more busy I've been finding it difficult to spend tonnes (if any) of time with God. Due to my work I missed most Sunday's at church (which, I know many of you totally may shame me for working on a Sunday) was unavoidable. It's not easy, nowadays sustaining a decent job without working the weekends - especially here in the UK. I'll tell you a wee bit about what has been going on over the past 6 or so months.

Leaving university.

So, one of the hardest and most trusting choices I had to make was to leave university. I had always wanted to go to university and felt that it was part of the path that God had set out for my life. As I've probably mentioned before I didn't have the best time at uni, in my first year I preferred going out and drinking to spending time looking at churches (although I did have a church, but didn't really serve in it at all). Then in the second half of that year one of my close friends died, causing me to question God (& in turn the Christians who surrounded me who didn't offer to pray or anything). I then got glandular fever in the summer - which resulted in an incredible realisation of who God was and His awesomeness, but also in me developing post-viral-depression (which is very common in people who've had glandular fever). I hated university at this point and struggled to get out of bed or even socialise. I was exhausted - not only from the glandular fever - but also from the depression (I'm going to do a blog especially on this at some point). This depression grew into anxiety and then led me to really struggle at uni (a place where we were totally independent in working and everything). I had a little job on the side and I'd been going out with Chris for a wee while, so seemingly I had everything made. I let people believe this because it was so much easier to smile and get on with stuff.  But I was struggling a lot. So, after doing uni in third year for a couple of months I finally decided to leave uni. I prayed about it and asked God to make things easier for me if its what was planned. And God totally made things happen.

Moving home.

So, after deciding to leave uni I needed to figure out what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to move closer to Chris, so I spent time thinking and praying about it. I chatted to friends - some girls who I had met the year before about my situation. They laughed as they told me they needed a new flatmate. They lived in the same city as Chris as they were as they were at uni there. So I moved in with them. And honestly, I can say I have been totally blessed by God. The three girls I live with love Jesus, love life and love doing exactly what Jesus wants us to do. Each of them individually emulate Christ in their own unique way and encourage me to do the same. They help me strive toward getting closer to God, ensuring my relationship with Chris is Christ-centred and fulfil my true potential. I couldn't ask for better girls to live with.

New job.

So one more part of the puzzle that needed to be sorted was getting a job. I needed a job that meant that I would be able to live comfortably. I applied for many jobs, including a couple of church admin jobs. I ended up getting a job working for a mental health charity, as a support worker. I found this job not only challenging but also incredibly humbling. After a while I began to realise that God was preparing me for his plan. I was slowly starting to realise that my heart was really for people who were on the edges of society, people who had been forgotten about. This burning in my heart has enabled me to realise that working in the care sector was something that ultimately God had wanted me to do. This job meant that I have began to understand what I am meant to do.

   

That's pretty much what's been going on for the past few months, now you're up to speed I hope you understand why it's been so quiet recently!

I promise I'll get better at doing this again and I'll get back into it. God is going to do incredible things & is already showing my some incredible things that He's already done. I know now that I am to get ready and go - not to wait about until something happens, but God will allow something to happen, but I in turn need to be prepared. So right now I'm preparing myself for the journey He has in store for me and I know that through Him (& only through Him) I will achieve great things. 

Where does blogging come into this?

So I truly believe that God has given me a gift of words. I love writing and reading. Journaling during my quiet time is the best way, I find, for me to really understand what God is saying. I also believe that due to this I have a platform to be brutally honest and vulnerable. I know sometimes it's difficult, when you're struggling to find someone who understands (or sometimes you don't want people to know), so I feel that God has given me this opportunity to write and hopefully support and encourage others who may need it. I also find this is a great way of proclaiming all the amazing things God has done for me. He is amazing and I love telling of his great works in me!

Thanks my friends, talk very soon!

'Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the rock of salvation.' PSALM 95:1

Blessings

May x

No longer a slave to fear

Slavery comes in different ways, from the physical shackles that prevent people from running away, to the bondage of our hearts when we are held captive by our own fears. Either way, whatever the things that hold us and debilitate us the effect is still the same. We are held back from being everything that God wants us to be. 

   When Jesus died on the cross He died for us, He died to set the captive free. That doesn't just end at those who are actual slaves for other people (those trafficked and treated unfairly), but it also counts and expands for those who are slaves to fear, guilt, anxiety, depression, inadequacy, lust, heartbreak...the list goes on, it is endless. But in Jesus name we are set free from the chains that have held us.

    I know that it is a lot easier to hear than to live out. We struggle with these things daily and other people just don't understand exactly what you're going through, which is potentially true. Everyone's journey is their own, but we all have one thing in common - Jesus Christ came to die for us and our sins. He died for our freedom, so that our fears and anxieties no longer define us.

     I have struggled over the past few years with crippling anxiety. It has become part of my life, where actually I feel empty without worrying about something. I become obsessed with little things, something wrong I might have said in a conversation, things I've done wrong in the past, the way people view me. This was made worse when I was taken ill with glandular fever, although I was healed and I encountered God in a new and exciting way the lasting effects of glandular fever have not only ruined my body, but also my mind. It is known as Post Viral Depression and although I don't see it necessarily as depression and I struggle with being diagnosed with something like that it is something that is now part of my life. I have had days where I'm too full of anxiety that I don't want to get out of bed, I struggle to eat and I begin to obsess. It's exhausting.

     But I know freedom. I know Christs revitilising hand and loving heart that has re-energised me and shown me transcendent love. There is no fear in love. I know that I have not been made to have a heart of fear, the bondage of anxiety does not hold me back. The chains that prevent me from fulfilling my potentially do not have power of any sort. In Jesus name I am free from judgement, free from guilt, free from fear. Fear is no longer my slave master.

    I'm not saying that I have total freedom. I relapse into anxious thinking more often than not. Usually if I don't have my mind focussed on God (actually whenever I don't have my mind focussed on God). If I watch things that don't necessarily glorify God (this doesn't have to mean anything over the top, even little comedy programmes that glorify lust, blasphemy, violence), if I speak unjustly about somebody (from gossip to arguing), if I haven't prayed in a while, if I do anything that doesn't glorify God (again this doesn't have to be anything too extreme). All these little attributes can affect my heart and mind toward God. In extreme cases you can become a slave to these things, they begin to dictate your life and you feel ruled by them. Once again, I am no longer a slave.

   For me a way that prevents being a slave not only to the world, but to fears and anxieties is by speaking out the word of God that counteracts anything that the devil is trying to manipulate you with (because let's be honest, that is what's happening). When the devil tries to tell me to feel guilty; 'Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood' (Isaiah 54:4). When the devil tells me I am alone; 'The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves, He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you; but will rejoice over you with singing' (Zephaniah 3:17). When the devil tells me to look to the world for advice; 'Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings who cannot save' (Psalm 146:3). There are so many, speak them against the lies of the devil. He is known as the deceiver - he will do anything within his power to make you fall, to make you a slave. In Christ you are free.

YOU ARE NO LONGER A SLAVE TO FEAR, BUT A CHILD OF THE LIVING GOD.

Pray freedom and knowledge of God's love over your life. Pray for a breaking of whatever is holding you back, the chains to be uprooted. Take the shackles off your feet so you can dance!

Blessings

May 

Xx

Stop just making it a youth movement

Now is the time, God is preparing a generation.

I remember hearing this time and time again as a teenager and in my youth group 'God is building up a generation'. I was excited, I was ready, I was keen...And then I hit twenty. I was no longer a teenager, I was no longer able to go to youth events, be invited to teen-oriented functions or change lives. I felt like I'd wasted my teenage life, I hadn't led thousands of people to faith, I'd hardly brought about a revival. If I was meant to be part of a generation that was going to change the world, maybe I'd just been missed out of this part, maybe I was just not good enough. I'd come to university and I was a young adult, I stopped going to a youth group and started helping out at one, I started being known as someone (and not just my parent's daughter), I'd started being asked to pay taxes - safe to say I'd become an adult. I felt like I'd missed out on this generation movement. God preparing a generation was just a youth thing, not a church thing.

But this is not just a youth movement, the generation doesn't just stop at the youth.

We as a church are a generation, it's not just for the gifted, the old, the young. It is for all of us as a body of Christ. We are all made to praise Jesus; 'Kings of the earth and all peoples; Princes and all judges of the earth; Both young men and virgins; Old men and children. Let them praise the name of the LORD, For His name alone is exalted; His glory is above earth and heaven.…' (Psalm 148 11-13). We all praise Jesus and we all live to serve Him. We shouldn't be stuck in the groups that we have put ourselves into. We shouldn't take away the value from others, we shouldn't limit ourselves to people we relate to better, we should break away from this being a '(fill in appropriate name) movement' and make it a church movement.

This is not just for the youth, this is not a youth movement.

We are part of a generation, all of us. We all are to make a difference to the nation we belong to. Together we create the army that God is creating, we need to stop being civilians and become soldiers. God is rising up the young. God is preparing the old. God is calling the under-qualified. God is preparing the way for the qualified. It doesn't stop. God is calling you. 

We need to break away from the bondage of what we believe, that we are not young enough, clever enough, good looking enough, good enough...we are the generation. Don't just encourage the youth, don't just believe it for the youth, we are a generation that God WILL and DOES use. WE ARE A REVIVAL GENERATION. 

Blessings
May
xx

Speak to dry bones

 'Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord...I will make breath enter you and you will come to life' Ezekiel 37:4

We can move. We can break away from what we are used to. We don't have to be defined by what has been spoken over us or by the season we have just come out of. We are part of the Kingdom of the Living God! But remembering and living this on a cold, dull, dreary Wednesday morning is a lot easier said than done. When our life is stuck and we can't see a way out of the mess we have got ourself in we struggle to see how God can have His hand in it.

     We are not made to be dead, we are made to live. Christ did not create is in our mother's womb for us to be complacent, for us to sit by and admit defeat. But for us to be alive, and through his breath and spirit in us we are truly breathing and alive! Just as God did in the beginning, when he breathed life into Adam, so He will do to us. Not only physically but also spiritually.

     In the above passage we have reached a point where Israel has been defeated, it is on its knees and is struggling with which way to go. As a nation it is hopeless and broken, it has fallen. The people of Israel were living life as if they were dead, they had lost their way and were struggling to move on. They were unable to see a way out of the mess they were in and with this they became a broken nation.

       I'm sure this sounds familiar, it does for me. There have been times in my life where I feel like I'm stuck in a really thick mud, no matter how much I try and move I get more and more stuck, sinking deeper and deeper. Sometimes it feels like it gets over my head, I feel lost. I can relate entirely to how Israel felt, the brokenness, the loss, the pain. 

     So with this vision that God gave to Ezekiel how can I fear? How am I able to struggle on when I know that Christ is with me, that Christ has given me life. The dry bones that I've been holding onto, the weight and baggage of the heartbreak that I've had to deal with are going to have a new lease of life. No longer are we to live in the brokenness of yesterday! With Christ we have been set free, the tears and shame of the past are no more.

      To move forward we must take action, we must move forward. We must be able to dream again and know what Christ wants and has planned for us, dreams are not made for graveyards. Allow God to change you, allow Him to breathe into you, to make those dry bones come to life. We are not to be stuck in death, but thrive in life. 

     Like God was able to restore Israel, He so can restore us, He is able to rejuvenate us, He is able to set us free from this darkness. The old season that you are in or have been in is gone. Christ will do a new thing in you. Let a new thing be done. We are made to be alive and He can restore us. Our bones are to come alive again, be alive in Him!

Let Him do a new thing in your life, allow Him to refresh and rejuvenate you. Christ will breathe fresh life into you again, He will supply you with what you've craved for, for what you've needed. We are part of the working body, we are meant for a purpose. A  new season is beginning and we are going to be fresh and strong with the new breath from God. SPEAK TO THE DRY BONES

Put on your walking boots

We need to get ready, the walk of faith isn't easy. There will be struggles and pain, but there will also be joyous thanksgiving. But we have to do God's journey to seek out what God wants for us. It may take time, the timing may not be our idea of perfection but know that it is God's perfect timing. There will be many points along the path in order for us to know God on an intimate level and know His plan for our lives.

1)Obedience. One of the most obvious, yet most difficult tasks. We have all (or will all) stop being obedient at some point in our life. We may do it in such a way that we lose complete focus on God or we may just decide not to obey God in the small things. 

    When I was about eighteen (and a bit before) I stopped being obedient. I didn't stop believing in God or not love Him but I decided that I didn't want to be obedient to Him anymore. It took a huge toll on my faith as you can imagine, but in the timing of it I didn't care. It's only now that I can see where disobedience came in and my God fuelled life took a step back. This lack of obedience didn't mean that God loved me any less, He didn't stop and He never will ('For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither Angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height not depth, not anything else in all of creation, will be able to seperate us for the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord' Romans 8:38-39)

Nothing can seperate us from the love of God. But when you are obedient to Him and His word you are able to grow deeper in him, you are able to know your worth and walk in the direction of knowing His plan for your life. I'm not saying that we only stray from obedience once and it's easy to come back into knowing that obedience is the best way forward, disobedience is easy, but damaging. Obedience will help us walk the path that Christ has laid out for us and allow us know true freedom, something that the world and disobedience cannot and will not offer us.

2) Sacrifice. When we look at our brothers and sisters in the Bible we see sacrifice all over the place. One amazing example is that of Abraham's sacrifice of his son. He knew that God wanted this from him the death of his beloved son. So in his obedience he took his son, Isaac (that he had waited so long for) and was willing to sacrifice him. But just at the right moment God stopped him (He is the God of perfect timing). Abraham wasn't to kill his son but a lamb that God supplied for him (sound familiar?). Abraham was willing to make that sacrifice, in his obedience and trusting of God.

    Sometimes we are to sacrifice more than we want. It might be money, time or material possessions (things we really want to hold of). But do we not know that what we sacrifice God will give us immeasurably more! When we sacrifice things to God (& things that really are a sacrifice) we are truly honoured and blessed. He will never give us more than we can handle, even if we think our sacrifice is way out of our league He will provide.

3) Warfare. Spiritual warfare is probably one of the most difficult parts of our walk with Christ. But it is a part of it. We know there is going to be a battle, but where we base our faith is important. We are on the winning side. ('Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's!'  2 Chronicles 20:15). The battle does belong to the Lord, but we are a soldier. With God, where the impossible is made possible how can we fall against a lesser army? When we dress ourself in the armour of the Lord we are winning the battle. With the blood of the lamb & the word of our testimony we can win this battle. It has already been won (spoiler alert: Christ ALWAYS wins). Know that warfare will come, it's not easy, but when we adorn ourselves with the armour of the Lord we are on the way to winning. Be aware and vigilant, the easiest prey for Satan is the weak who do not know it's going on until it becomes overpowering. From Abraham to Matthew spiritual warfare affects those closest to Jesus as well as those who feel distant. We are the winners.

    In Revelation it talks how for a moment Satan will seemingly champion over the saints, but only for a moment. Because a time is coming soon when Christ will come again and reclaim the world from the claws of Satan. Victory is coming!

4)Testing. On our walk of faith we will have many times when God tests our faith. We will struggle to maybe see God in things when the tests get tough, but as I've said before He will not give you more than you can handle. Your test will become your testimony. We struggle and muddle through the rubbish in life, but the strength and power we gain during this time will help us grow and become exactly what God wants us to be.

     One of the biggest tests of God is the timing of things. We struggle to trust in God when things don't happen straight away, that is when we fall. When things seem hazy for a while we struggle to continue to be obedient, we don't want to sacrifice, we can't face the warfare. But know now, God's timing is ideal (look at Abraham and just at the second when he was about to strike his son God stopped him). He knows the plan for your life and He knows when and where things should happen. This test may be the hardest, but once we understand it, we can begin to live in a freedom of knowing that our father knows best. (Disclaimer: it is easier said than done).

5)Confession. When we withold things from God we struggle to get intimacy with Him. Now God is aware of what we do and when we struggle to tell Him things and confess our sins, but the confession is where it's important.

    When you keep something in, it becomes uncomfortable. If it's bad stuff you get iller and iller until you decide you need help (in a physical sense, till you know you need to see a doctor). Keeping it in will not help you, it will hold you back. You won't get better by not seeking help or letting it out that's the only way to feel well again. On a spiritual level when we keep things in, hide things from God we are stopping ourself from knowing freedom. We may be able to still be spiritual but not in the way He intended and not to fulfil the things that He wants us to. We will get stuck on the path as we can't get the freedom and intimacy we need. Do not withold from God. He is a loving forgiving God and as I have mentioned before (but it's always great to be reminded) there is nothing that can seperate us from His love and forgiveness.

6)Look forward. Christ has a plan for each and everyone of us. It's a lot easier to say believe me, but He does. His plans our made for us. Think of the promises that have already been fulfilled - look at the Bible, the promise of a messiah, the promise of Abraham's descendants being starters of the tribes of Israel. We need to know and remind ourself of God's endless promises and goodness. When we take all of the steps of the walk of faith we do we are able to see how God is going to use and bless us. We are to do great things through Christ. Look to the stars and where they are going. Keep looking for those amazing awe-inspiring moments that Christ will do in your life. When we look at the stars we see His promises and the fulfilment that He has already done. A Christ-centered, forward looking life allows us to become all He wants us to be.

Be prepared for the walk, it won't be easy and we will struggle. But Christ is victorious and so are we!

Blessings

May

xx

I'm not religious

I don't have a religion. I don't follow my parent's beliefs or go to church every Sunday because they told me to. I don't enjoy the religious entitiy Christianity has become. I don't follow the rules.

I love Jesus though.

I believe in the living God, the same God that made Eve of Adam's rib, the same God that sent his only son into a suffering world. I believe in that God. He knows me deeply, I have a profound relationship with Him and I simply cannot get enough of Him. I'm not religious, but I have a tangible and alive relationship with Christ himself.

    We need to stop being like a Christian and become more like Christ. We need to live the way Christ lived, love the way he loved. Not be stuck in the rules and regulations of a religion. 

     Christ loved the poor, He hung with the lowest of the low. He didn't sit in a middle class home with his middle class friends doing middle class things, He didn't once attempt to get something just because he was the son of God. He went into the world as a man and lived as one. He experienced emotion and loss as we do. If he can be like us than we can strive to be like Him. We should get out of comfortable lives and be uncomfortable. It begins to get dangerous when we have too much comfort. We stop growing, caring and loving. If Christ meant for us to be religious he would've loved the Pharisees. We aren't meant to be the ones who sit on high and judge, we aren't meant to be the ones who have it sorted and live inside our Christian bubble. We are made to be Christ-like.

We are in a world where people are more uncomfortable to be like Jesus than to be as a Christian. What would Jesus do?

What bracelet are you wearing? WWJD or WWPD?

Are we becoming too religious?

Blessings

may

Living in the victory

It's not difficult to forget that Christ died for us. Or is it? As we face every day struggles we seem to live in the world, have the worries of the world, the weaknesses of the world and the pain of the world. We forget that our father in heaven has a plan for our lives. We are so eager to teach children how good God is and how He is plentiful and loving, yet when it comes to it we seem to forget it. We forget that we have God's strength, we can do all things in that (Phillipians 4:13). We forget that He sent his son to die for us, even when we turned away from Him, so that we may have life and live it to the fullest (John 3:16). We forget that when we trust in Him we have put our trust in the best place and that He totally and utterly adores us and remains faithful at all times (Psalm 146:3-8). We forget these simple things, when we are caught up with the world.

    Christ died, so that we might have life. He didn't die for an unworthy cause, He used his own life in a replacement for us. He made the way for our life to be totally and utterly fulfilled. He died so that we might be free. On that cross he took the world, he literally had the world on his shoulders. He took sin, shame, powerlessness, suffering, guilt, weakness, pain. He took it for us to live. He left the glory of heaven, he left his throne room to come to earth for us. 

   But wait!

There's still more good news. He didn't just die for us in hope that we could do it alone. He rose again. How amazing is that? Christ defied the odds, he did the impossible. He left the grave and HE LIVES. Does this not remind us, all things through Christ are possible!? As well as this He gave us His spirit so that we don't need to do it alone. With Him as our guide how can we be lost in the world? Christ who has overcome death is with us. He faces the world with us. We can overcome. Live in the victory.

Christ died so that we may live. It's not a simple sentence, it's a powerful command. Jesus Christ, Lord of lords, king of kings, creator of all, came down from his glory in heaven to die for us. Even when we rejected him - he loved us. Through him we have the power, strength and wisdom of His spirit. Through Him we know true heavenly freedom. 

'Because he lives I can face tomorrow'

An artists impression

I love drawing, I always have. I remember constantly drawing when I was younger (when I wasn't eating grass/making homes for woodlice). I'm not going to lie, most of the time my pictures were very much below average and there's only so many times you can pass them off as a surreal piece. It wasn't until school that my self portraits stopped looking like Rod Stewart and a little more like me - they still weren't great though. I just can't draw, I'm really not a very good artist. I struggle with faces still, at the age of twenty I've seemingly regressed to my four year old self, my faces are beginning to look more and more like Scottish singers. I just should probably stop, my art is starting to get offensive.

      With art you really have to focus, you really have to get everything right - it takes time. Artists struggle with doing things by half measures. They put all their effort into it to make it perfect. An artists masterpiece is a prized possession. An artist knows every detail they had to put in to make it and they know all of the preparation it took to make this masterpiece - it's not just an off chance thing.

'You are my work of art, individually created by me for a purpose' Ephesians 2:10. God is an artist and God created us. We are not an accident, we haven't been made as an off-hand production, we are the real deal, made by a real artist. He looks us and knows that we are good. We have been made by the great artist, who knows how many hairs we have on our heads. He took His time when He was creating, He knew what He was doing. He knew the quirks He was giving you, the way you laugh and smile. He knew your mind and your heart long before your parents did. He is your creator, the artist and your ultimate father. He delights in the creation He has made. Artists don't delight in accidents.

       We are made by Him to serve Him. He loves us already, we don't need to aim to please Him - we don't need to try and fill our lives up with the holiest of things and hate ourselves when we miss up. The great thing about it is God delights in us as his masterpieces. He loves us, every little bit of us. To Him we are beautiful, we are created in His image and made to do His work. We are also made individually - this means we are not made to be like everyone else, we are not made to conform. We are  born as an individual, with our own traits and personality. We shouldn't aim to be someone else. No matter how much the world tries to tell us different, you are the best person you can be, you are worth it, you - individually - are amazing. Not all artists images are the same, but they're all beautiful, they all have had work put into them. Works of art are priceless, so are you.

You have been created and designed by a great artist. He made you beautiful and unique to do the work that He wants you to do in your way. We all have different skills and talents that God has given us, we have been chosen for these - the creator has individually chosen us.

Don't ever be less than what He has made you. You're a child of the King, nothing can change that.

Blessings.

May

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Let the darkness tremble

So this blog comes in wake of the sad news of Robin Williams' passing. You would have seen the posts on various social networking sites marking the death of the amazing actor - clips of his great films, hilarious characters and famous one-liners. You would've also seen the reason for Robin Williams' death - depression. A dictionary definition for this word is; 'severe, typically prolonged feelings of despondency and dejection'. Depression isn't just a state of mind, it's a life sentence. We've been ignoring it for too long, depression isn't something people can just wait out, a mind set that if we take a long deep breath we can get over. It's a bondage over our life, heart and mind. We need to stop treating it at arms length, referring people to countless doctors and counsellors - brushing it off as someone being a bit sad or 'hormonal', we need to start treating like the illness it is and treat it with love. Depression, anxiety and worry all become part of people's lives, they live and breathe it. The only way I can fully describe it is like when you're trying to catch a breath and you just can't - for some reason you can't breathe, you can't fully inflate your lungs. It steals your life and every ounce of happiness you may have, it takes over everything you do, your intimacy with people, your work ethic, your way of life - everything. As Christians we have ignored it for too long. We have let the dark hand of depression, anxiety, panic, bipolar strangle the hearts of many. We turn our nose up at it - leaving it up to those who 'really know what they're doing'. We offer to drive people to see a counsellor or to have a chat - but we ignore the actual problem. The fact that this illness needs healing.
     I don't think I'm alone when I say I believe in a God that can heal. We have heard countless times of times God's shown up and removed tumours, healed broken legs and even risen people from the dead - so why do we ignore this? The illness of depression. Some people will turn away from reading this, for years the word 'depression' has been seen as a dirty word, a word Christians don't know or have never experienced because God offers love, peace and joy. Many Christians don't believe that people who love God can get depression - how could they? God's love is so amazing and when you trust in God, you feel His peace. This factor has left people who have depression or anxiety or any similar illness rejected by the church. Christians aren't meant to feel like this. Church's are keen on speaking on trusting in God gives you peace - but does this mean people who struggle with depression and anxiety are doing something wrong? We need to, as a church, a body of Christ, learn how to encourage those who need it, but not patronise. It's a very difficult balance to get, but once we get it - it makes a world of difference.
     Depression is on the rise - and as a lover of the father God I believe we can stand against it. We can pray and minister into people's lives, not treat them as if they are lesser than what they have been made to be. We need to take away the life sentence of depression - I want to live in a world where depression is just a memory. Anxiety shouldn't be something that stops people from doing things, you shouldn't have to label yourself as a bit of a 'worrier'. Christ is a healer and will heal. We should be able to breathe again. We need to be a family and not forget that we are a family, our brothers and sisters are crying out - those who suffer from depression or any mental illness are yearning for love from the church, love that is genuine - people who cry when they cry, who laugh when they pray and commit to praying in order for an ultimate healing. It has no right in this place, it has no right to take the lives of teenagers, of children, of mothers or fathers - it has no right here. Pray against it.
      I would also like to say at this point, you are not weak. It's tough hearing people at church talking of joy and love, especially when you're in a place in your life where you struggle even to get up in the morning, where you spend hours agonising over impossible situations in your head. YOU ARE NOT WEAK.  Stormy seas may sway you, but you will never be washed away. You need to know that the father of all, the king of kings loves you and delights in you. He simply can't get enough of you. He knew you before you were born, He has your life planned out. His heart breaks as He sees you go through this turmoil. Allow God in. I know it's so easy to say, but abandon yourself to God - allow Him into your heart. Surround yourself with Him - let the darkness tremble. Speak the name of Jesus into your life - the devil must flee when His name is spoken.

God is moving, God is shaping a generation - do not let things get in the way of this. Know freedom, know God's plan, do not listen to the lies of the devil. He loves to tell you how little you are worth, how weak you are, how you will never be out of this pit. BUT IN JESUS NAME, I believe in a freedom like no other. His cooling river of peace to wash over you. Pray until something happens, persist and don't give up - get rid of the safety blanket and allow Him to shake you up. Allow His love and goodness in. And know you are not alone.

Blessings.
May
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FREEDOM

Jesus answered: "I am the way and the truth and the life: no one comes to the Father but through Me." John 14:6

For years I had an alter-ego, this was someone who I would always blame for the things I did wrong, her name was Gemma. She would literally get the blame for everything - in my naive mind I thought this prevent me from getting into trouble, obviously this was not case, but this didn't stop me from blaming her. I never wanted to get into any sort of trouble, so of course I'd blame her. Ideally, Gemma would take all of my blame and be the reason why I did things wrong (of course, years later my parents haven't let me forget...) I always felt like so I didn't get the punishment, I wanted something else to take the blame. But my main problem was that Gemma didn't exist and I would always end up getting the punishment.
     BUT
How great is this - God has paid the way! When sin is concerned He has made a way to eternal life. Sin, shame, regret is pinned to the cross.

We know that - we're taught that from a young age pretty much. But only when we really study the above verse do we actually get some sort of insight to the incredible sacrifice Christ made - so that we may have a clear way to heaven and to God, the father. He took the blame and the suffering so that we may find freedom. It's pretty amazing, the deepest darkest parts of our lives - Christ took for His own. Not only does He give us freedom, but He offers us joy, love everlasting, peace, goodness - it goes on! He paid the price - He took the blame, He served the time. We don't need to have any other sacrifice to gain the glory of God. There is a new covenant made in Christ (this was at the last supper), we no longer need to live in a place where we feel a blockade between us and God, we no longer need to make a sacrifice like in the Old Testament (it was common to kill a lamb). Jesus is the lamb and has made the way to full life in Christ. Through Him all things are made new. When we are born again, when our way to God is made - we have a new identity - our identity in Him, all things gone. All blame, punishment, sin - gone. Our new life is our life. You don't remember anything before you were born do you? So when you were born again, Christ makes no list of your transgressions against Him. A way has been made to fullness in Christ. The way is Christ. He took our punishment, so that we may have life.

Blessings.
May
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What is church?

What is church? Genuinely, what's your answer to that question? Is it 'a building, with a steeple' or are you a little bit more theological then that and your answer is 'it's a fellowship of Christians, coming together to love and worship God' - which is it? I don't mean to patronise you, but both of these answers are shallow and in some ways completely wrong.

I've always been in the mentality that church is a Sunday thing, happening once a week where we all dress up, look our best and leave our worries at the door. We all smile and laugh - eating the chocolate bourbons, drinking the fair-trade coffee. We have the perfect looking families and have that fixed look of euphoria whenever we worship God, we can give a scripture perfectly at any given moment (although, I did this once and realised I'd quoted Night at the museum rather than the Bible) and share 'Christian jokes'. To be honest, this isn't always what we're feeling. I know there's times I've gone to church and gone through the motions. In my first year of university especially I was going through a really tough time with God, but I'd still go to church every Sunday and smile and put my hands up in the right places - but it would all be empty. I didn't want to admit to anyone that I was having a bad time of it. My idea of church was that I have to be happy, I have to be together and have it all sorted on a Sunday morning, nobody really wanted to know my crap. Is this what church is becoming?

As Christians we are so keen on spreading the good word - this is great - but we miss out key parts. God didn't come for the ones who have it all together.; 'I have not come to call the righteous but the sinners to repentance' Luke 5:32. So many Christians take this as 'well Christians aren't all perfect', yeah this is true - but this isn't wholly what Jesus meant. He meant basically that He came for everyone. He came for the cheaters, the liars, the murderers - as much as He came for the gossips and bullies. But, this is something we forget - something that we do not put as our forthcoming message. With the smiles and the sharp suits we give the impression that we have it all together. We need to stop this, we need to stop putting people off. Church needs to stop being a stage for Christians and start becoming a sanctuary for everyone. Church shouldn't be about the performance, but about the help. We need to establish the grounds in which people are coming to the church. It should become a place that is attractive, and not just a place full of 'weird Christians'. We need to make our main message that of one that will attract non-Christians - not ones that will put people off. Our main ideology (if you like), should be one of love. Ourselves we need to know that a church is a safe place, we don't have to put on pretences in order to please the man sitting next to you. Church shouldn't be just for the Christians.

On a Sunday, come just as you are - don't bottle it up, suit it and boot it. Come with a honest vulnerability and hunger for more of God - we get it, not everything is great all the time.

'Church shouldn't be a museum for saints, but a hospital for sinners'

Blessings
May
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Appeal: persecuted church

Work camps, stonings, being hunted in the dead of night and heckled for your beliefs - these strong images bring back the horrors of 20th Century Europe. But the real horror is when we realise that this is not just history - this is happeneing now. Christians are being killed today.

I am blessed that I live in a country that allows freedom of religion. We are encouraged to learn more about different faiths and taught not to discriminate people against what they choose to believe. But this isn't the case for the whole of the world. Sadly, this is not the case for the majority of the world. Christians live in fear all over the world, fear that their homes will be raided and they'd be arrested or killed simply for following Jesus. Lovers of Christ meet up in secret, in underground dug-outs in order just to have simple fellowship, just to have church. They risk their lives if they share their faith and talk about Jesus. They aren't just sought out, they are ruthlessly killed, in cold blood.

    Recent reports have shown that in countries like Iraq, Christians are being hunted down and crucified. If they do not denounce their faith and accept the ways of life condoned by the murderers they are killed. Every year around 163,000 Christians are killed. 200 million Christians are being persecuted world wide. These people cannot pray or openly talk about their faith. They are murdered for no reason other than Jesus.

You may not think this is a cause necessarily close to your heart - but how can it not? Our brothers and sisters are being killed,  for no crime. Tortured, whilst remaining innocent. Humiliated, for loving Christ. This situation needs to be sorted. We need to pray and petition. We need to pray for our governments to open their eyes, for the captives to be set free, for extremist groups to be destroyed in Jesus name

I see a near revival.

Hello, hello, hello!

So I've just returned from two weeks of utter madness - and in a good way! Week one I spent in Northern Ireland - working within the kids ministry at New Wine Ireland and week two I spent at Soul Survivor Scotland with my own church youth group. Talk about God turning up!

It's been crazy! I've been a Christian for eight years and been around Christians all my life - yet seeing God show up these past few weeks has been mental. God's working within the next generation and I am so excited to see it happen! (The use of exclamation marks shows my excitement...)

New Wine: So this is my second year of working at New Wine - I was a group leader this year and worked in a very loud (massive understatement), crazy, hyper group of kids. It took so much  energy - genuinely tired didn't even cover it. I'd been at a wedding the day before, so I was shattered and not really in the mood for loudness and kids running around. I believe God has a sense of humour. My kids just loved to run around, the first night (I was expecting shyness and meekness) I spent running after kids, shouting their names and calling on other leaders for help - was not expecting this! I ended the night absolutely exhausted and wondering why I was even here. That night I worshipped with some friends and prayed for my group (almost begrudgingly - I just wanted my bed!) The next day I was ready, pumped up and energized for the day - and what a day it was, another day of running misbehaving kids. I was really running out of patience. I began chatting to one of my kids and he told me that he wanted to give his life to Jesus - serious praises! I sat down with him and prayed, his mood altered and he changed. He still ran riot but he was loving and kind toward me. That night I gave it all to God again and went to sleep. Lets go to the Wednesday now, the mood had changed. Something had happened. During the talks the older kids were getting pictures and words (these are kids all around 10/11). They began openly praying for each other. It was amazing. Even in my own wee group my kids began listening and four more accepted Jesus into their lives. They began to follow Jesus that day and the change in them was crazy. They began to pray in the group and pray for healing. The ones who were too shy or stubborn to speak out were now praying for the kids at the front. One boy was healed (his younger brother was in my group), he promptly gave his life. This was a life-changing week. Parents came to me in tears, praising Jesus for what He had done in their children - it was unbelievable. God showed up.
   He's working with the young and rising up those who we may look on as too young to understand - but the change seen that week was incredible. Strong men and women of God were being created and made in that week, ministers, preachers, evangelists - I could give names to each of these. God was doing amazing things and is rising up a generation - watch this space.

Soul Survivor - Yes! Huge fan of Soul Survivor. Loved it in England, was looking forward to this one in Scotland. We went with our youth group of around thirteen and for the first time (in a long time) I was a youth leader - fully fledged. The first night was unreal and the enthusiasm was amazing. I was not expecting the kids in my youth group to be so involved by the first night - it was immense. The week went on and questions were asked, points were made and discussions were had. But at the main meetings the kids were incredible. Their pure love for God shone out and it was so exciting to see! On top of this the friendships shown within the youth group was amazing. When you see pure Godly friendships - you realise how wholesome and genuine they are. These kids loved each other and loved the Lord. I loved watching them interact with the word and with one another - it was amazing. Again, God showed up - and again He gave the group pictures and words - questions were asked surrounding the Holy Spirit and it was amazing to be able to work and journey with the kids as they discovered more of God. Not only that, but the overwhelming sense of God's love was so thick and tangible that I couldn't get enough. I got a complete peace and utter sense of trust in Him and it was amazing. God has began something here as well.

It's clear by everything that something is happening - God is on the move and He is rising up generations to prepare for what is going to happen. These kids are being equipped at young ages, to be teachers and warriors of Christ - how exciting is that!

I see a near revival. 

Gossip girl (part one - first impressions are everything)

I've finally introduced my boyfriend to the wonders of Downton Abbey. He actually loved it - although he'd never admit it. I have the first three series and I've watched them multiple of times. I know all the characters and their secrets, but Chris doesn't - this is all new to him. As we settled down to watch the first ever episode I was itching to tell him all about Thomas and his secret life and the other characters and what they get up to (especially Mary...) but I also didn't want to ruin it for him. That wouldn't have been fair. He would have had this expectation of the characters as soon as I had said anything about them, he would've had his opinion made far too early before he could decide on it himself.

The problem is; gossip and bitchiness is very much like this. We ruin other people's perceptions of people before they even know them. We destroy any chance of independent thought because we have already made a conscious effort to make what we think about them. There are many people I know who I know things about that I just shouldn't know. People whose names I can barely remember seemingly have their past etched onto my mind due to the act of someone else.

    I'm not saying for one minute that I don't do this - I do struggle with it. I also often give the excuse of 'but I'm a girl' but that doesn't work. Our gender shouldn't define what we are in a negative way. As girls of God we should endeavour to change people's perceptions of women. We shouldn't fall into gossip or bitchiness. It doesn't help, encourage or build anyone. We stop people's access to knowing other people because they are so warped by the things that we have said. We shouldn't ruin the character of someone else but let people make their own decision.

Imagine if someone introduced you with all your sin attached. You would be hated and ashamed. This should never be the way, if people don't know you, they don't need to know what you've done. So this shouldn't be the case for anyone else.

Gossip genuinely hurts and destroys. Peoples first impressions leave an impact - so let it be from them and not from you.

His name is higher than anything. His name heals diseases, sets the captives free, saves us. He is above all.

We should all want to be ginger

I'm not a natural ginger, but for the short few years that I've rocked the red headed look I've experienced just a taster of anti-gingerness. People really have an issue with gingers - I don't really see where it's come from, but it's obvious. It doesn't conform with the blondes and brunettes of society, it's OTT and orange. Famous gingers are known mainly for their hair colour (however, for fancy dress this usually means us gingers are able to dress up in an old school uniform - donning a cape and witches hat and claim to be a Weasley). We are race in ourselves. We are admired by some (usually older women who tell you how nice your hair colour is - trying to convince you/themselves that it's okay), feared by many...but we are our own people. So what if we don't conform, we stand out and as we grow older and the carrot taunts fade into Indian sunset comments and we happily claim; GINGER AND PROUD! Not conforming is kind of cool.

        I know I'm not a natural red-head, but I love being ginger. I love how it does stand out (and hey, people think it's natural anyway). It's interesting and different. The idea of not conforming is something that has also stuck out to me recently. In the Bible it says; 'Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind' (Romans 12:2). This is a pretty simple message - do not become part of this world, in the way it goes about things. There are many things in the world that are desirable, we can go along with our friends or different ways people live their lives - that do seem attractive, but these things are part of the world and not part of God's plan. Conformity does not make us stand out - it makes us of the world, doing the things they do. The world sees no difference in the way we act to the way they act - how can they see God in you? We should all endeavour to let God shine out - for Him to be our main attraction, the light in our lives that others see.

       I've experienced what it's like to want to be part of the world - I'm not narrow minded and I am able to draw from my own experience. It seems great, we want to fit it, to conform. The idea of being 'a ginger' frightens us. We strive to fit it, to not seem weird (especially because people think Christians are weird anyway). We go the way of the world. But this doesn't work out - this is empty, this doesn't offer us a future. Our renewed mind in Christ should offer us that future, that promise. Be in the world, but not of the world. Basically, don't cut yourself off from people, putting yourselves into Christian bubbles, looking down on people, condemning them - but don't fall into the routine that they do. Both ways are harmful and won't help your spiritual growth or that of others. Conformity isn't the only problem - removing yourselves from people is to. You need to go into every situation with God and protection - but be a friend, not a judge

Don't conform to the crowd, stand out and be proud (I don't know why I'm now rhyming).

Blessings

May

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Go, go, go Joseph

One time during a sleepover my friend sat up in bed (she was asleep) and shaking her doll pointed toward the dark corner. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO FREAKED OUT IN MY LIFE. It was literally the creepiest moment of my life (I don't know if it helps that I am petrified of the dark). I have no idea what she was dreaming about, but dreams are weird. I don't just mean the ones that result in you pointing to random parts of the room - but the ones that we have that make us think about our lives. When I was much younger I always had a dream job - I wanted to be a rabbit (yeah, it's pretty cute). I was committed to this dream, my parents humoured me, probably. I really wanted to be a rabbit. Alas, due to quite obvious reasons I was never able to do this. As I grew up I realised that it was impossible, I gained new job prospects ranging from being a vet to being an actor. I never really pursued these ideas (I'm doing an English degree, I am freaked out by most animals and can be painfully shy). But I still dreamed big. It was the only way.

Let's talk about Joseph. *SPOILER ALERT* He was a big dreamer - his whole life was based on dreams. He also got a pretty fabulous coat out of it. Definitely one of the Bible's best dressed. He had dreams that confused him but also built him up. He was part of a big family - all boys, even the notion. They all had a bit of an issue with Joseph- poor little Joey. They basically thought him as really cocky. He was their dad's favourite and never had to do any work. He then had the audacity to tell them how their corn was going to bow down to his. (You should really check out the musical with Donny Osmond - just fantastic.) So, they decided to kill him - well attempt to kill him. They attacked him and left him for dead - but then, change of heart - they decided to sell him off to some Israelites and make him go to Egypt. Harsh. I don't think I'd ever sell any of my brothers, well maybe Reuben...(totally joking). Fast forward a little, Joseph is working for Potiphar (pretty important guy in Egypt) - he's committing to it, doing all he can and gets a promotion. But all is not well, he's caught the attention of Potiphar's wife - who really wants a piece. Of course, Joseph being a good and faithful servant rejects her - but to his horror she tells her husband different. This results in Joseph getting chucked into jail. Knocked down again. He stays in prison for a while, meeting a butler and a baker (also resulting in a brilliant musical sequence in the film, with colour, flowers and a weird hippy man...). He interprets the dreams of both men - one good, one not so good (sorry Christopher Biggins). Move on a little later and the butler (the one who survived) tells the Pharaoh of this great man who can interpret dreams - Joseph. The Pharaoh calls Joseph to the stand and tells him of his dreams - involving cows. Joseph is able to translate these dreams and save Egypt from the famine that is going to happen (pretty good of him to be quite honest). He then becomes prime minister of Egypt. ENTER JOSEPH'S BROTHERS. Oh, how the mighty of fallen! They don't recognise their own brother - so come and fall to their knees and bow down in front of him (sound familiar?) - quick side note: there is a famine in the land where Joseph's brothers are from too - they come to Egypt because they know that Egypt is plentiful. Joseph feeds them and gives them food for their families. However, sneaky Joe puts a cup in Benjamin's bag...when he is brought up on it and sentenced to prison the brothers all fall to their knees begging Joseph to let him go. Joseph reveals himself as he realises his brothers have changed. All is well and good and his family (+ daddy Jacob) come and live with him in Egypt. The end.

Sorry if that was a little long-winded, but I was just giving you a little background. Throughout the story Joseph was beaten up, he was put into prison and ridiculed. Nobody liked him - he was favoured by people (his dad and Potiphar) but then cast out by people who wanted to destroy him. People got jealous of him and didn't like it. But Joseph didn't give up, he still had dreams. He had the dreams when he lived at home - God gave him the dreams, an insight to his future. He was thrown around and beaten, but his dreams still came true. He got knocked down, but he got back up again (resisting the urge to burst into song...). When God gives you dreams, He is going to keep to them. No matter what you go through. Joseph was rejected, but his skills and talents that were God given were able to put to the use to put him in the position God had planned for him. 

    It's not easy following God's plan  - we get knocked down a lot, but we need to get back up again and brush ourselves off. What if Joseph had admitted defeat when he knew his brothers didn't like him, or when he became a slave? He wouldn't have been promoted, he wouldn't have been able to interpret dreams, he wouldn't have been able to save Egypt. God put him in a place for a reason - he didn't have it easy, but if he did none of this would've happened. If he had never gone to prison, he would never have met the butler - he would never have known he would have been able to definitely interpret dreams...it wouldn't have made good news. God made his life the way it was to put him to the position he was in. It worked out perfectly. If God has given you dreams, don't be disheartened if things look bleak at the moment - God never gives up on His promises, dream and dream big.

Blessings

May

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I enjoyed morphine too much

I used to try and get off going to school as much as I could as a child. I would always pretend I was sick to not go in, and to be honest it worked a lot of the time. I don't know when I started 'being ill' all the time, but I was a fast learner. I realised that being ill the morning of school wasn't enough. So I started really plotting, really committing to being ill. I'd start the night before (genius, I know), I'd time it perfectly - as soon as I knew my mum was coming through the door I'd lie pathetically on the sofa (or, for real illness perfection and real commitment, on my bed). My mum would come in and shout 'hi', a weak and feeble 'hello' greeted her back as I groaned in 'agony', (usually at this point I would've moaned about how ill I was to my sister, who was usually overly sympathetic - thank-you Grace (laying the foundations early on)). My mum would then come in and check on me. If I was downstairs, she'd make me go to bed, I would climb the stairs - slowly, heavy breathing all the time. I'd stay in my room for the evening, when dinner was called I'd pretend to be asleep (please note: before any of this took place I'd gage the situation - what dinner would be). If they came to check on me I'd close my eyes, facing the door (surely if I was faking it I wouldn't be so fearless as to face the door). I'd then go to sleep - waking the next morning, a little earlier than usual (very unlike me). I'd go downstairs, clutching my stomach and tell my mum and dad how unwell I felt..this usually was the clincher - my mum would look at my dad and my dad at my mum and they'd tell me to go back to bed - I was too ill for school. It took all the energy within me to not jump up and down with great joy. I'd go to bed smiling (luckily, due to early waking up I was able to go back to sleep - the signs of a true illness). On other days my mum would say the immortal words of; 'Go and have a shower and see how you feel'.  No words have disappointed me more.
       I was never really sick, I just couldn't be bothered with school. I'm not sure whether my parents knew that or not - or maybe acting is really my forte. But I never really had that much of an illness - I was really lucky. Last year however I got sick, nothing serious, it was glandular fever (most people gasp at that, but I can't help feeling it sounds wonderfully romantic and Victorian). I got it during the summer holiday from uni - a week before my sister's wedding. However, I wasn't diagnosed till about three weeks later. I'm pretty sure my parents thought I was faking it (all too used to my school days of 'being ill'), but I was genuinely really sick. I was hospitalised (sorry for how dramatic that sounds) a few days after my sister got married and kept in for a week - they didn't know what it was. I can't really remember much of being in hospital (except a nurse kept singing 'Rose garden' and I had some hilarious moments due to morphine). I then went to stay with a really kind and Godly lady from church - she looked after me and I was really grateful (and still am). I was told I'd have to probably defer second year at university and go home. I prayed hard for healing and my parents had people at their church praying too. I couldn't bear not going into second year. Guess what? Prayer worked. I was better (I still had a lot of pain in my liver, but was able to carry on university), I went into second year. I was properly ill, like bed-bound ill for around 7 weeks - glandular fever usually takes months to clear.  God had worked in me and healed me from the inside out.
     One of the most poignant times of my illness was when I was woken up with the sun burning down on me - I woke up, feeling quite woozy, but as the wooziness subsided I waited for the nauseating pain of the glandular fever to set it - it didn't come. I still had the dull ache in my liver, but I could live with that. I felt better. Later that day I phoned my parents telling them how much better I felt. They were stunned and told me that one of the men in church had prayed for the sun to shine on me and for me to be healed. Amen. How great is our God?! Throughout the time of my illness, and a little bit after I prayed and worshipped God - I spent hours waiting on Him and worshipping His name - at the time it was all I could do. He strengthened me in so many ways and appeared to me. He may not have healed me straight away but the work that He did in me has made a lasting difference. I now love God with all my heart, I've seen His miracles first hand and know how great He is. He may not have healed me, but He was doing something.

God may not heal straight away, but He has the power to do so. When we're waiting on God we learn so much. A part I failed to mention was how much I needed to see God at that point in my life. I'd had a dodgy year and had been away from God. God could've healed me straight away - that would've been great, but He worked in me when I needed Him to, I don't think I would've rested on God and waited on Him as much if I had returned to full health straight away. He strengthened me when I was weak. God works like that. He knows the best plan for us. He can heal, He is a healing God who lovingly restores what needs to be restored. At the time of my illness, my faith needed restoration more than my body did. In the end He healed me, but He made sure my faith was healed. Even if God doesn't heal you, He has the power to do so. Some great people have not been healed, they continue to pray, or, in some cases, have lost the battle - but their faith and belief in God has endured and His name is victorious. God does everything for a purpose.

'O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me' (Psalm 30:2)

Blessings.
May
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