Hello blogger, my old friend

Hello friends, it's been a while.

Two very big things have happened to me in the past few months. I shall start with the most recent; I got engaged! 💍💍💍 Yes, I am super super excited and I could dedicate a whole post to it but that can be for another time/if people actually care about it (I really don't want to bombard people with all that stuff - especially because as Christians we seem obsessed with people getting married (I mean the amount of questions and worrying looks I've been getting in the last year because I'm 22, in a committed relationship and not married - I mean oh my goodness)). [DISCLAIMER: Marriage is going to be amazing and God-filled and something I believe, for me, God wants. But it is not for everyone. Fellowship is for everyone, marriage doesn't have to be.]

The other thing is incredible, something that I don't think I would ever really be able to talk about this (which makes me sound like a really class Christian), but I have been set free, set free from a life of anxiety and worry.

The last time I blogged I spoke a lot about mental health and the church, this is something that is very dear to me. For over five years I have suferred from severe anxiety. Back then, when I was 16 I would worry about what people would think of me, exams and boys.  When I got to university it became worse (this time I was dealing with guilt - especially if I wasnt focused in God at that particular time of my life), but still I would worry about exams and what people would think of me. Now, since leaving university my anxiety has become focused on my health and focusing/obsessing of things Ive done in the past. I would constantly go up for prayer at church or events in order to be healed from this. But nothing would happen (I would have to do that super awkward smile when someone eagerly waits for you to say you feel great, but you don't).  So, I know what it's like to feel almost as if nothing is working and like you're abandoned.
    So safe to stay after over five years of struggling with anxiety I almost had given up. I've read loads of blog posts, bought books, listened to sermons and still it wasnt stopping. In fact it felt as if my anxiety had gotten worse. I would have days when I wouldn't be able to get out of bed, or I would have to leave rooms if my anxiety had gotten so bad. I found it very difficult to look to God, I couldn't pray as my mind wouldn't focus because anytime I tried to empty my mind I would worry and obsess and remember that really stupid thing I did six months ago and wonder why that man was looking at me so strangely on the bus and OH MY GOODNESS WHAT IS THAT LUMP...Yeah safe to say, I was NOT in a good place.
        It was at this point I decided to go home, I didn't go for any reason, just wanted some free food for a bit. As a family we went to a church event. It was a pretty good service (I mean, they had a buffet at the end - and like I said, I'm about the free food). I cant remember exactly what the sermon was about (how bad is that), but at the end they did a call for prayer. Again, it wasn't anything specific and most people were worshipping/starting the queue for the buffet, but I decided to go up for prayer. Two ladies prayed for me and I didnt really feel any different, just really calm. As I left the event I wasn't anxious or worried (which was huge because right up to this I had felt dreadful). i was able to laugh and actually, strangely, breathe properly (so cliche - but so true).  The anxiety I had been overwhelmedmwith for years had gone. I was free.

From then till now I have had this amazing sense of freedom and peace. It is incredible. It also has come at the perfect time. I have learnt to trust in God and His timing. Knowing His word does stand firm and does stand against my circumstance.

I know how frustrating it is to feel alone, to feel as if prayer isnt working. Anxiety is a lonely place. The ability anxiety has to cut you off from the rest of the world is astounding, the ability it has to make you sound stupid, constantly repeating yourself, worrying about little things...I get it. Through Christ, through prayer and through His timing I am free.

Just a wee testimony to say i am back and will be trying to blog more, sorry ive been rubbish!

blessings xx

Hello friends

So it's been a while! Google tells me the last time I posted was in April 2015, I'm sorry. Between moving house, family illness and starting a new job I've been struggling with finding anytime to really blog. But I promise, now things are settling I will get back into the swing of things.

   I'm also going to be completely honest and tell you that with my life getting a whole lot more busy I've been finding it difficult to spend tonnes (if any) of time with God. Due to my work I missed most Sunday's at church (which, I know many of you totally may shame me for working on a Sunday) was unavoidable. It's not easy, nowadays sustaining a decent job without working the weekends - especially here in the UK. I'll tell you a wee bit about what has been going on over the past 6 or so months.

Leaving university.

So, one of the hardest and most trusting choices I had to make was to leave university. I had always wanted to go to university and felt that it was part of the path that God had set out for my life. As I've probably mentioned before I didn't have the best time at uni, in my first year I preferred going out and drinking to spending time looking at churches (although I did have a church, but didn't really serve in it at all). Then in the second half of that year one of my close friends died, causing me to question God (& in turn the Christians who surrounded me who didn't offer to pray or anything). I then got glandular fever in the summer - which resulted in an incredible realisation of who God was and His awesomeness, but also in me developing post-viral-depression (which is very common in people who've had glandular fever). I hated university at this point and struggled to get out of bed or even socialise. I was exhausted - not only from the glandular fever - but also from the depression (I'm going to do a blog especially on this at some point). This depression grew into anxiety and then led me to really struggle at uni (a place where we were totally independent in working and everything). I had a little job on the side and I'd been going out with Chris for a wee while, so seemingly I had everything made. I let people believe this because it was so much easier to smile and get on with stuff.  But I was struggling a lot. So, after doing uni in third year for a couple of months I finally decided to leave uni. I prayed about it and asked God to make things easier for me if its what was planned. And God totally made things happen.

Moving home.

So, after deciding to leave uni I needed to figure out what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to move closer to Chris, so I spent time thinking and praying about it. I chatted to friends - some girls who I had met the year before about my situation. They laughed as they told me they needed a new flatmate. They lived in the same city as Chris as they were as they were at uni there. So I moved in with them. And honestly, I can say I have been totally blessed by God. The three girls I live with love Jesus, love life and love doing exactly what Jesus wants us to do. Each of them individually emulate Christ in their own unique way and encourage me to do the same. They help me strive toward getting closer to God, ensuring my relationship with Chris is Christ-centred and fulfil my true potential. I couldn't ask for better girls to live with.

New job.

So one more part of the puzzle that needed to be sorted was getting a job. I needed a job that meant that I would be able to live comfortably. I applied for many jobs, including a couple of church admin jobs. I ended up getting a job working for a mental health charity, as a support worker. I found this job not only challenging but also incredibly humbling. After a while I began to realise that God was preparing me for his plan. I was slowly starting to realise that my heart was really for people who were on the edges of society, people who had been forgotten about. This burning in my heart has enabled me to realise that working in the care sector was something that ultimately God had wanted me to do. This job meant that I have began to understand what I am meant to do.

   

That's pretty much what's been going on for the past few months, now you're up to speed I hope you understand why it's been so quiet recently!

I promise I'll get better at doing this again and I'll get back into it. God is going to do incredible things & is already showing my some incredible things that He's already done. I know now that I am to get ready and go - not to wait about until something happens, but God will allow something to happen, but I in turn need to be prepared. So right now I'm preparing myself for the journey He has in store for me and I know that through Him (& only through Him) I will achieve great things. 

Where does blogging come into this?

So I truly believe that God has given me a gift of words. I love writing and reading. Journaling during my quiet time is the best way, I find, for me to really understand what God is saying. I also believe that due to this I have a platform to be brutally honest and vulnerable. I know sometimes it's difficult, when you're struggling to find someone who understands (or sometimes you don't want people to know), so I feel that God has given me this opportunity to write and hopefully support and encourage others who may need it. I also find this is a great way of proclaiming all the amazing things God has done for me. He is amazing and I love telling of his great works in me!

Thanks my friends, talk very soon!

'Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the rock of salvation.' PSALM 95:1

Blessings

May x

Let the darkness tremble

So this blog comes in wake of the sad news of Robin Williams' passing. You would have seen the posts on various social networking sites marking the death of the amazing actor - clips of his great films, hilarious characters and famous one-liners. You would've also seen the reason for Robin Williams' death - depression. A dictionary definition for this word is; 'severe, typically prolonged feelings of despondency and dejection'. Depression isn't just a state of mind, it's a life sentence. We've been ignoring it for too long, depression isn't something people can just wait out, a mind set that if we take a long deep breath we can get over. It's a bondage over our life, heart and mind. We need to stop treating it at arms length, referring people to countless doctors and counsellors - brushing it off as someone being a bit sad or 'hormonal', we need to start treating like the illness it is and treat it with love. Depression, anxiety and worry all become part of people's lives, they live and breathe it. The only way I can fully describe it is like when you're trying to catch a breath and you just can't - for some reason you can't breathe, you can't fully inflate your lungs. It steals your life and every ounce of happiness you may have, it takes over everything you do, your intimacy with people, your work ethic, your way of life - everything. As Christians we have ignored it for too long. We have let the dark hand of depression, anxiety, panic, bipolar strangle the hearts of many. We turn our nose up at it - leaving it up to those who 'really know what they're doing'. We offer to drive people to see a counsellor or to have a chat - but we ignore the actual problem. The fact that this illness needs healing.
     I don't think I'm alone when I say I believe in a God that can heal. We have heard countless times of times God's shown up and removed tumours, healed broken legs and even risen people from the dead - so why do we ignore this? The illness of depression. Some people will turn away from reading this, for years the word 'depression' has been seen as a dirty word, a word Christians don't know or have never experienced because God offers love, peace and joy. Many Christians don't believe that people who love God can get depression - how could they? God's love is so amazing and when you trust in God, you feel His peace. This factor has left people who have depression or anxiety or any similar illness rejected by the church. Christians aren't meant to feel like this. Church's are keen on speaking on trusting in God gives you peace - but does this mean people who struggle with depression and anxiety are doing something wrong? We need to, as a church, a body of Christ, learn how to encourage those who need it, but not patronise. It's a very difficult balance to get, but once we get it - it makes a world of difference.
     Depression is on the rise - and as a lover of the father God I believe we can stand against it. We can pray and minister into people's lives, not treat them as if they are lesser than what they have been made to be. We need to take away the life sentence of depression - I want to live in a world where depression is just a memory. Anxiety shouldn't be something that stops people from doing things, you shouldn't have to label yourself as a bit of a 'worrier'. Christ is a healer and will heal. We should be able to breathe again. We need to be a family and not forget that we are a family, our brothers and sisters are crying out - those who suffer from depression or any mental illness are yearning for love from the church, love that is genuine - people who cry when they cry, who laugh when they pray and commit to praying in order for an ultimate healing. It has no right in this place, it has no right to take the lives of teenagers, of children, of mothers or fathers - it has no right here. Pray against it.
      I would also like to say at this point, you are not weak. It's tough hearing people at church talking of joy and love, especially when you're in a place in your life where you struggle even to get up in the morning, where you spend hours agonising over impossible situations in your head. YOU ARE NOT WEAK.  Stormy seas may sway you, but you will never be washed away. You need to know that the father of all, the king of kings loves you and delights in you. He simply can't get enough of you. He knew you before you were born, He has your life planned out. His heart breaks as He sees you go through this turmoil. Allow God in. I know it's so easy to say, but abandon yourself to God - allow Him into your heart. Surround yourself with Him - let the darkness tremble. Speak the name of Jesus into your life - the devil must flee when His name is spoken.

God is moving, God is shaping a generation - do not let things get in the way of this. Know freedom, know God's plan, do not listen to the lies of the devil. He loves to tell you how little you are worth, how weak you are, how you will never be out of this pit. BUT IN JESUS NAME, I believe in a freedom like no other. His cooling river of peace to wash over you. Pray until something happens, persist and don't give up - get rid of the safety blanket and allow Him to shake you up. Allow His love and goodness in. And know you are not alone.

Blessings.
May
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Go, go, go Joseph

One time during a sleepover my friend sat up in bed (she was asleep) and shaking her doll pointed toward the dark corner. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO FREAKED OUT IN MY LIFE. It was literally the creepiest moment of my life (I don't know if it helps that I am petrified of the dark). I have no idea what she was dreaming about, but dreams are weird. I don't just mean the ones that result in you pointing to random parts of the room - but the ones that we have that make us think about our lives. When I was much younger I always had a dream job - I wanted to be a rabbit (yeah, it's pretty cute). I was committed to this dream, my parents humoured me, probably. I really wanted to be a rabbit. Alas, due to quite obvious reasons I was never able to do this. As I grew up I realised that it was impossible, I gained new job prospects ranging from being a vet to being an actor. I never really pursued these ideas (I'm doing an English degree, I am freaked out by most animals and can be painfully shy). But I still dreamed big. It was the only way.

Let's talk about Joseph. *SPOILER ALERT* He was a big dreamer - his whole life was based on dreams. He also got a pretty fabulous coat out of it. Definitely one of the Bible's best dressed. He had dreams that confused him but also built him up. He was part of a big family - all boys, even the notion. They all had a bit of an issue with Joseph- poor little Joey. They basically thought him as really cocky. He was their dad's favourite and never had to do any work. He then had the audacity to tell them how their corn was going to bow down to his. (You should really check out the musical with Donny Osmond - just fantastic.) So, they decided to kill him - well attempt to kill him. They attacked him and left him for dead - but then, change of heart - they decided to sell him off to some Israelites and make him go to Egypt. Harsh. I don't think I'd ever sell any of my brothers, well maybe Reuben...(totally joking). Fast forward a little, Joseph is working for Potiphar (pretty important guy in Egypt) - he's committing to it, doing all he can and gets a promotion. But all is not well, he's caught the attention of Potiphar's wife - who really wants a piece. Of course, Joseph being a good and faithful servant rejects her - but to his horror she tells her husband different. This results in Joseph getting chucked into jail. Knocked down again. He stays in prison for a while, meeting a butler and a baker (also resulting in a brilliant musical sequence in the film, with colour, flowers and a weird hippy man...). He interprets the dreams of both men - one good, one not so good (sorry Christopher Biggins). Move on a little later and the butler (the one who survived) tells the Pharaoh of this great man who can interpret dreams - Joseph. The Pharaoh calls Joseph to the stand and tells him of his dreams - involving cows. Joseph is able to translate these dreams and save Egypt from the famine that is going to happen (pretty good of him to be quite honest). He then becomes prime minister of Egypt. ENTER JOSEPH'S BROTHERS. Oh, how the mighty of fallen! They don't recognise their own brother - so come and fall to their knees and bow down in front of him (sound familiar?) - quick side note: there is a famine in the land where Joseph's brothers are from too - they come to Egypt because they know that Egypt is plentiful. Joseph feeds them and gives them food for their families. However, sneaky Joe puts a cup in Benjamin's bag...when he is brought up on it and sentenced to prison the brothers all fall to their knees begging Joseph to let him go. Joseph reveals himself as he realises his brothers have changed. All is well and good and his family (+ daddy Jacob) come and live with him in Egypt. The end.

Sorry if that was a little long-winded, but I was just giving you a little background. Throughout the story Joseph was beaten up, he was put into prison and ridiculed. Nobody liked him - he was favoured by people (his dad and Potiphar) but then cast out by people who wanted to destroy him. People got jealous of him and didn't like it. But Joseph didn't give up, he still had dreams. He had the dreams when he lived at home - God gave him the dreams, an insight to his future. He was thrown around and beaten, but his dreams still came true. He got knocked down, but he got back up again (resisting the urge to burst into song...). When God gives you dreams, He is going to keep to them. No matter what you go through. Joseph was rejected, but his skills and talents that were God given were able to put to the use to put him in the position God had planned for him. 

    It's not easy following God's plan  - we get knocked down a lot, but we need to get back up again and brush ourselves off. What if Joseph had admitted defeat when he knew his brothers didn't like him, or when he became a slave? He wouldn't have been promoted, he wouldn't have been able to interpret dreams, he wouldn't have been able to save Egypt. God put him in a place for a reason - he didn't have it easy, but if he did none of this would've happened. If he had never gone to prison, he would never have met the butler - he would never have known he would have been able to definitely interpret dreams...it wouldn't have made good news. God made his life the way it was to put him to the position he was in. It worked out perfectly. If God has given you dreams, don't be disheartened if things look bleak at the moment - God never gives up on His promises, dream and dream big.

Blessings

May

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I enjoyed morphine too much

I used to try and get off going to school as much as I could as a child. I would always pretend I was sick to not go in, and to be honest it worked a lot of the time. I don't know when I started 'being ill' all the time, but I was a fast learner. I realised that being ill the morning of school wasn't enough. So I started really plotting, really committing to being ill. I'd start the night before (genius, I know), I'd time it perfectly - as soon as I knew my mum was coming through the door I'd lie pathetically on the sofa (or, for real illness perfection and real commitment, on my bed). My mum would come in and shout 'hi', a weak and feeble 'hello' greeted her back as I groaned in 'agony', (usually at this point I would've moaned about how ill I was to my sister, who was usually overly sympathetic - thank-you Grace (laying the foundations early on)). My mum would then come in and check on me. If I was downstairs, she'd make me go to bed, I would climb the stairs - slowly, heavy breathing all the time. I'd stay in my room for the evening, when dinner was called I'd pretend to be asleep (please note: before any of this took place I'd gage the situation - what dinner would be). If they came to check on me I'd close my eyes, facing the door (surely if I was faking it I wouldn't be so fearless as to face the door). I'd then go to sleep - waking the next morning, a little earlier than usual (very unlike me). I'd go downstairs, clutching my stomach and tell my mum and dad how unwell I felt..this usually was the clincher - my mum would look at my dad and my dad at my mum and they'd tell me to go back to bed - I was too ill for school. It took all the energy within me to not jump up and down with great joy. I'd go to bed smiling (luckily, due to early waking up I was able to go back to sleep - the signs of a true illness). On other days my mum would say the immortal words of; 'Go and have a shower and see how you feel'.  No words have disappointed me more.
       I was never really sick, I just couldn't be bothered with school. I'm not sure whether my parents knew that or not - or maybe acting is really my forte. But I never really had that much of an illness - I was really lucky. Last year however I got sick, nothing serious, it was glandular fever (most people gasp at that, but I can't help feeling it sounds wonderfully romantic and Victorian). I got it during the summer holiday from uni - a week before my sister's wedding. However, I wasn't diagnosed till about three weeks later. I'm pretty sure my parents thought I was faking it (all too used to my school days of 'being ill'), but I was genuinely really sick. I was hospitalised (sorry for how dramatic that sounds) a few days after my sister got married and kept in for a week - they didn't know what it was. I can't really remember much of being in hospital (except a nurse kept singing 'Rose garden' and I had some hilarious moments due to morphine). I then went to stay with a really kind and Godly lady from church - she looked after me and I was really grateful (and still am). I was told I'd have to probably defer second year at university and go home. I prayed hard for healing and my parents had people at their church praying too. I couldn't bear not going into second year. Guess what? Prayer worked. I was better (I still had a lot of pain in my liver, but was able to carry on university), I went into second year. I was properly ill, like bed-bound ill for around 7 weeks - glandular fever usually takes months to clear.  God had worked in me and healed me from the inside out.
     One of the most poignant times of my illness was when I was woken up with the sun burning down on me - I woke up, feeling quite woozy, but as the wooziness subsided I waited for the nauseating pain of the glandular fever to set it - it didn't come. I still had the dull ache in my liver, but I could live with that. I felt better. Later that day I phoned my parents telling them how much better I felt. They were stunned and told me that one of the men in church had prayed for the sun to shine on me and for me to be healed. Amen. How great is our God?! Throughout the time of my illness, and a little bit after I prayed and worshipped God - I spent hours waiting on Him and worshipping His name - at the time it was all I could do. He strengthened me in so many ways and appeared to me. He may not have healed me straight away but the work that He did in me has made a lasting difference. I now love God with all my heart, I've seen His miracles first hand and know how great He is. He may not have healed me, but He was doing something.

God may not heal straight away, but He has the power to do so. When we're waiting on God we learn so much. A part I failed to mention was how much I needed to see God at that point in my life. I'd had a dodgy year and had been away from God. God could've healed me straight away - that would've been great, but He worked in me when I needed Him to, I don't think I would've rested on God and waited on Him as much if I had returned to full health straight away. He strengthened me when I was weak. God works like that. He knows the best plan for us. He can heal, He is a healing God who lovingly restores what needs to be restored. At the time of my illness, my faith needed restoration more than my body did. In the end He healed me, but He made sure my faith was healed. Even if God doesn't heal you, He has the power to do so. Some great people have not been healed, they continue to pray, or, in some cases, have lost the battle - but their faith and belief in God has endured and His name is victorious. God does everything for a purpose.

'O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me' (Psalm 30:2)

Blessings.
May
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Sorry I'm not Jane Austen

I stand there on the moors, the biting wind eating away at my raw, naked hands. My hair falls around me, wild and free. I look out across the vast emptiness of the grey landscape. A lone tree grows in the distance - leaves have fallen around the trunk, dead and lifeless, standing there, stark and empty. His arms come around me, and I feel his warmth. I love him, his rugged good looks, his silent demeanour and his quick temper. It seemed crazy that I could fall in love with him, lowly stable boy. I couldn't deny my love, it was exciting yet comforting. I found myself falling for him every time I saw him. I turned to him, our lips meeting.

STOP! Sorry, this is not an Austen novel. The heroes of the Bronte sisters do not exist in the real world. No Heathcliff or Mr Darcy will come and sweep you off your feet - that just doesn't happen. We live in a world that craves love. The Beatles wrote songs about it, Marilyn Monroe starred in films about it and John Keats wrote poems about it. Love is pretty much everywhere - so it's understandable that we want to fall in love - to have a taster of what they all speak about, this thing called love. But it's tough, it's a difficult process to get into a relationship that glorifies God. So, how can we, as Christians get into a loving relationship that is Christ centred? 

    There's a lot of pressure for Christians to get into relationships - we are bombarded with questions as soon as we become friends with someone of the opposite sex. If we're still single at 20 people start telling us that it's okay to be single - after all Jesus was. Sometimes we get into relationships and we struggle to make sure God is the centre of it. Personally I find myself looking at other people's relationships, thinking how Godly they are, how they never have any trouble, how ideal their relationships are. So how are we able to make sure we have relationships that are God-filled and who is the right person for us?

You and God

Before anything though you need to sort it with God - this is clearly the most important relationship you're even going to have. You cannot go into a relationship without prayer - like most big decisions we make, to have a clear head about it. With prayer you are able to prepare yourself and prepare your heart for the relationship you are going into. This means that the relationship you are in will be God-driven. You cannot expect the other person to pull you upward in your faith, because at the end of the day when one of you is weaker - and not doing anything about it - it will drag the other down. Being mature in your faith is key before going into a relationship. You are able to offer great support as well as ensuring your relationship is Godly. 

     Another key step of a relationship is not looking for it. It's a cliché - but it's a cliché that we should all listen to. When we search for a relationship we struggle in being happy with one. We settle for the first thing that comes along , we don't wait to find the person that God wants us to have - this is damaging. You leave yourself disappointed and lost. We put importance in the person as opposed to putting it in God. Instead of focussing yourself of finding a relationship, give it to God. Allow yourself to fall in love with God all over again. If someone wants to find you, they'll go to God - you should be so in love with Him. He is your first true love.

It's all in the heart.

As humans we look on the outside first - obviously. We're not going to want a chocolate cake if it looks disgusting. I'm not going to pretend we don't live in a world where looks don't matter, of course they do. Christians aren't any different. We don't have some power that means that we can see if somebody has a great personality or not, we struggle as much as everyone else. So how do we find 'the one' (I cringed myself as I wrote that, don't worry, we're all cringing together)? 

    We mustn't all look for the same thing. Everyone has an ideal person in their mind; guitar playing, floppy haired, pastors son (just to name a few of my own), but this does not mean that this is necessarily the right person for you. I believe that God does fulfil our desires - but sometimes what we think is right for us isn't always the case. When I came to university I loved the idea of single Christian men. I was from a rather small church with hardly any boys my age, so going to a university with tonnes of Christian boys - excited doesn't cover it.  But now I have a boyfriend and he's not from my university. This doesn't mean that the boys from university aren't good enough for my, or aren't Godly enough. It just means they're not for me, not who God has planned for me. We may be alongside other Christians - but it's not always the case that they're ideal for us for romantic relationships. (God gives us people who we can have alongside us in platonic ways - these will help us grow too). My friend once described boys as a notebook; When you want a notebook you go into a shop to get one, there are many different types of notebook - all beautiful and attractive, however, there is only really one that suits us. This does not mean that the remaining notebooks aren't attractive - they're just not your type.

      One of the most key aspects of finding 'the one' (sorry) is their relationship with God. A person should be so in love with God, their heart only for Him, that you have to go to God to find it. God should always be the centre of your relationship, so when you're looking for the other person, God should be the one who you go through to find them. A person's spirit should become the main attraction - easier said then done. It kind of helps that I met my boyfriend at a Christian event, but the fact is one of the main attractions should be the persons spirituality. We should look further than the outward appearance - don't judge a book by its cover and all that. Look into the heart of a person, get to know them. Pray about it. When you pray into a relationship you are able to get the most out of it, it also enables you to make sure God remains the centre of it. Your relationship becomes a God-given relationship.

Mistakes can happen!

Relationships are great - but we sometimes trick ourselves into thinking that they have to be perfect all of the time. This is not the case (sorry Chris!). Relationships take work, it's not going to be easy, they take sacrifice and commitment. Just because you struggle a little in your relationship does not mean that it's not worth it. Relationships take time, you are getting to know each other as well as learning how to be in love. You've stopped becoming just one person, caring for yourself - but you now have somebody else to care about. Allow them to make mistakes but at the same time offer them sacrifice - give them a chance! It's okay to argue, it doesn't mean you're going to break up. Arguments happen, but with prayer and petition you are able to get through them. Be your own person, with your own faith - do not let your own faith be compromised by the relationship. Stay strong in what you believe and your relationship with God.

    Keep God centre - remember Him in all you do. This reminder stops from sexual immorality and also enables us to look to God throughout the relationship. Making God centre - a relationship becoming a three stranded chord; 'A chord of three strands is not quickly broken' (Ecclesiastes 4:22).  When God is centre it's easier for the relationship to move forward as well as strengthening the faith of both people. Keep on praying and keep Him in your heart, try not to lose Him in the relationship. Let God guide your relationship.

I may not know everything about relationships, in fact I know I don't know everything - but that was a little insight into what I think a relationship should have. Not all relationships are the same but God is the same, yesterday, today and forever. 

Blessings.

May.

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I make good gravy

There always seems to be that one person who is good at EVERYTHING. They seem to effortlessly be able to go out and do everything they set their mind to. They can sing, dance, act, look good whilst laughing - pretty much do everything. I, however, am not one of those people. But I admit that, I have finally come to the realisation that I am not especially talented, but God delights in me anyway. This didn't stop my parents from encouraging me in all my endeavours. As a child I learnt ballet, violin, flute, had singing lessons, rode a horse (once) and was encouraged with acting. Clearly none of these talents really worked out, but my parents were keen to encourage me either way, they made sure that if I wanted to do it I could. I learnt pretty early on that it's tough to be talented - you have to stick it out, it doesn't come naturally to you. I also learnt that with the right encouragement and support you are able to do what you set your mind to (or in my case willingly accept defeat). In fact, once when I asked my friends what my talents were I was given 'makes good gravy', which I'm cool with. I do make good gravy.
    It seems in the Christian world that there are two types of talent; the worship leaders and the preachers. Everything else is what we say when we feel people need humbling. It seems that everybody aspires to be up at the front being the all singing, all dancing leaders in the church - because God loves those people more, right? Growing up in church has taught me a lot of things and one of the main things was that a lot of people aim high - missing out a few key things on the way. They become a servant to themselves and not to God. They forget that we are here to serve the Living God - that does not just come in the form of being at the front (that does help), but being in the background. The talents don't just end at what we can see, but what God sees.
    It's tough growing up with older siblings, my sister was the clever, pretty one who seemed to do amazingly at school. My older brother was the same (maybe not so much pretty, but he had the banter). Grace played the clarinet and Alexander played the drums, even my little brother  plays the guitar. It's pretty tough. I know what it's like to seemingly have no talent. I sort of came to a point in my life where I was just going to be a nice person (still working on that one...), but then God really spoke to me. Just because I wasn't necessarily talented with things that people see as being great talents (Godly talents) didn't mean that I wasn't blessed with talents of my own. It also didn't mean I was less holy because I could strum four chords on a guitar. (DISCLAIMER: I'm not for one second suggesting that people who lead worship/preach lack talent, you guys just got it good).
     God delights in all we do, talents don't go as far as what we can show off in a talent show - but certain attributes fall under he heading of 'Talents'. We are giving certain things we can act with - we are blessed our personalities, our attitudes toward different things and the way in which we approach things. An example of this is my friend (not going to name her because it'll be awkward), but she is talented and not necessarily in the obvious ways - well she is, but there not the things that stick out for me. She is kind, loving, willing, encouraging (the amount of times she's encouraged me with blogging and writing - I make her read all my stuff because I know she'll help and encourage as oppose to mock and hinder), she is so servant hearted that it is heart warming to see. You might not think these attributes are talents - but I truly believe they are, she has a child-like spirit, of which I am envious - but that adds to her character, it's one of her talents. She doesn't have to make a big deal of it, but her talents are obvious.  It's such a pleasure to watch her grow and to have her with me, the talents she possesses help me realise my own talents. The encouragement she offers is great - it changes a lot.
     On a little side not I would like to approach encouragement, as I mentioned above my parents would be keen to encourage me in all I did. Encouragement goes so far, if someone is good at something or shows talented attributes you need to encourage them, most of the time they aren't even aware of what they're doing, they're never encouraged - this is a tough part of it. We are told in the Bible to encourage one another - this does not mean only encourage those who are easy to encourage.  ' Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing' (1 Thessalonians 5:11). When we encourage one another we build each other up, we let people know that what they're doing is good. Just because it doesn't seem like a 'worthy enough talent' doesn't mean that it is. Encourage those around you, the quiet ones, the ones who pours the after service coffee, the prayer ministry, the woman who always asks how you are and actually shows an interest. God delights in each and every one of them, just as much as the man on the stage- their talents are noticed by Him so therefore should be really noticed by us.
    Everyone is talented. We all have different attributes which add to our character. As cliche and patronising as it does sound - sometimes just being a kind person is a talent, offering up your time to work in church, being that one person who makes sure the little old lady at that back has somebody to talk to shows your true servant loving heart. These talents are spoken about so much and so often we see them pass us by. Engage with your talents, just because you're not at the front doesn't limit you,  God has empowered you with talents that make you who you are. Find yours out and work on them, don't do them for your glory - but for the glory of God.

Blessings.
May
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