The struggle is real. (Part 2) - So what can we do?

So, as we saw in the last blog I can totally ramble far too much, I promise you I will try not to do that for this one..

We can all suffer from poor mental health. It doesn't matter who you are, rich or poor, pastor or congregation, man or woman - mental illness is something that is very real and very prominent right now. So how, as the church can we make a difference?

• Don't act like Christians are immune from having poor mental health.

It's simple, as Christians we are not immune from having a mental illness. Yes, having Jesus does help - we know a God who is all loving, who is the all-seeing father and redeemer of all, but it doesn't mean that we are never going to suffer from poor mental health. Just like as Christians we are not immune from getting cancer - yes, we have Jesus so with that we have hope but that does not offer us complete immunity. The problem with mental health is that nobody can see it. It's so easy to put on a smile and crack a few jokes, but nobody can really see what's going on (it's also very difficult to explain, especially to people who may not understand). As Christians we need to accept that it's an illness therefore it needs the same attention any other illness would get. Once we begin to accept that everyone, including ourselves, can be affected by this we are able to work toward a more accepting place for sufferers to come to in order to find safety and sanctuary.

       In addition to this, we need to be totally honest. If you are in a position where you are able to talk about it, talk about mental health, then do so. Allow people to know that they aren't alone, as well as having Jesus, they have their brothers and sisters around them who know exactly how they feel. Once we begin to admit that we too can and have suffered from mental health but yet we have a hope - we may not be cured, we may not be able to cure you. But Jesus can heal and Jesus can give hope. 

• Allow people to know that a church is a place of safety and sanctuary.

As I mentioned, poor mental heath is an illness, so we need to make sure we treat it like that. If one of our brothers/sisters came into church after a cancer diagnosis they would be welcomed with open arms, tears of sympathy, hands on prayer and endless offers of lunch/coffee meet ups. We wouldn't just whisper about their condition, put them at the end of your prayer list and be done with it, so why should we do this with mental illness. We need to begin to treat church as a place that people come to when they're weary, when they need to be uplifted, a place where the mentally ill can come to feel accepted and loved. If you know if somebody is suffering, be it from having a bad day, a bad week, poor mental health etc. then take the time to pray with them, offer to take them out, ask them how things are going, cook for them, allow them to cry on you - be  there for them. (Also, a great thing to do is educate yourself! Try looking up information on mental health & the churches attitudes toward it (as well as what the Bible says about it)). If you put an effort into something like that, making an effort to get to know the illness they're suffering from then you can approach it with a knowledge - as well as getting the Biblical knowledge to back it up with too, it could honestly help change someone's life. To know that there are people who are willing to pray with you, not just tell you to pray, or put you on their prayer list is incredible. Jesus answers prayers and He has set us free, so why not proclaim that for the people who crave freedom the most.

• Don't hate on medication - it does work!

So many people stay away from medication, I did it (mainly for health reasons), but if the doctor is telling you to go on medication, then you probably should! Jesus does heal, but He also gave the doctors skills to be able to create the medication needed. He also can work through the doctors in the treatments you have offered to you (such as CBT etc.). It still can be totally Jesus, but just through different means than you think.

• Together, we can start ending the shame!!

No longer should we live in a world where we are ashamed to talk about mental health - but more than too eager to talk openly about sex. Lets get rid of the stigma from a Christian perspective. As a church we should be able to be the first place that ends the stigma, we should be the place where people go first - where they want to go to find freedom. We are Jesus' hands and feet and we are made to go to the dark places, we are being prepared for battle - this doesn't just mean a worldly battle that we  have to fight, but also in mental health. We can fight to change the way that we look at mental health as a group of people, as Jesus' disciples we can learn to be more accepting and loving of those who have been cast out. Open your arms, eyes, hearts and prayers to those most in need and understand just what is needed.

We as a church are to work together to end  the stigmatization of mental illness, to allow people to know and understand the true heart of Jesus and what it means to have hope and freedom. 

Blessings 

May

*Disclaimer: Just like to add, I 100% know God is a healing God, but I also know that He does it in His timing, so sometimes, when the timing doesn't make sense to us, we struggle to see it. God totally does heal mental illness and set the captive free, but we must work toward making the church a place for those who suffer most.

The struggle is real (Part 1)- Let me explain..

*Disclaimer: This is a really jumbled up blog. I'm basically typing and publishing. I'm thinking about what I'm writing, but just putting it down as I'm thinking it - I don't really want to sugar coat it/make it make proper sense because I'm worried it'll not be what I actually want to write (does that even make sense?!) I promise the next blog will be clearer and more concise! Lots of love.

Mental illness seems to be talked about more now than ever before. I have briefly spoken about it in a previous blog, but it seems to be that it is becoming more and more of an issue. I think it's something like 1 in 4 people have a diagnosed mental illness. But 1 in 1 people have mental health. This statistic doesn't mean that you will never be affect, that only a certain amount of people will ever be affected by it. Mental illness affects us all, it should be talked about more. It is an illness, we shouldn't shy away from calling it that. We shouldn't fob it off as having an 'off day', or that it's our own fault or we aren't doing something right, we need to stop pretending that you'll be all okay when you're 100% on fire for God, because in reality hearing those things suck. People constantly telling you to just 'pray about it' (and that being the only piece of advice) doesn't help. Sometimes 'just praying about it' isn't as easy as you think, it's a struggle to focus at the best of times, but when your mental health is bad it's made all the more difficult. As a Christian being able to admit that I struggle with my mental health is something that I have feared for almost three years. It seems crazy that in a world where we can talk about pretty much anything we still want to hide away from speaking about something that we all, at one point in our life, be it directly or not, will be affected by.
    In my life I have worked closely with people who suffer from mental health conditions, from severe and debilitating bipolar to general anxiety disorder (GAD), I have seen a wide range of different mental health problems that are really having an affect on the people who suffer from them. Not only are they tormented by a constant drowning sensation, but they are also cast out by society. Mental illness still has a bad name, a stigma that we relate to the asylums that we see on history programmes, but how are we to break away from that? How can we, as Christians, offer people who suffer from a mental illness - no matter how severe a place to know that they are safe? A place of sanctuary and hope that people constantly crave.
    I am more than aware of how difficult it is to understand mental health, through working at it on a professional level/volunteering at my church with young adults as well as suffering with anxiety/depression myself. It's not an easy thing to admit (even as I am writing this I'm questioning whether or not to publish it). Depression isn't how it looks like on TV, it isn't all about crying and emotional breakdowns (that can totally happen), but it's also about the huge lack of motivation. Imagine waking up every morning, still exhausted, not even wanting to talk to the people you live with through no fault of their own. Imagine catching your reflection in the mirror and honestly loathing everything about it. Imagine not even bothering to eat because you don't see the point in it. That's only half of what depression can be like, it's an endless void that controls every part of your life. Then, in addition to that imagine not being able to sleep due to being so worried about the next day or reliving a conversation that you had where you may or may not have said something wrong. Imagine being slightly ill, and imagining its something far worse (& then googling the symptoms which makes things ten times worse).  Again, this is exhausting and requires a lot of thought, which needs motivation, so having anxiety and depression combined is probably one of the most exhausting experiences I've ever had. I sometimes struggle to be able to just pray about it, especially if I am feeling very anxious. I struggle to put my mind on something that means I have to just let go - sometimes, as stupid as it sounds - I don't want to. I am in the comfort of my anxiety, like a weird safety blanket. (Oh, and by the way - I am more than well aware that my mental health improves when I'm praying to when I'm not praying, but no way does it disappear. Also, prayer definitely does help!)
     I don't think the above description will give mental health problems any justice - honestly, it's binding. I struggle with it on quite a mild level really, I can still cope. I don't take tablets for it (it has been offered & I have in the past but due to the effect it had on my body I decided to not take them anymore). Mental illness is destructive, it craves to destroy the people it has hold of, therefore in a world that is so ashamed of mental health we should be a place, a people who have our arms open to the people poor mental health really affects. I feel we need to  become the place where we don't just tell people to pray about it and they'll be healed instantly, or the reason for the poor mental health is a lack of joy...we need to be a place where mental health is accepted and a place where people know to go to find freedom that only Jesus can offer.

This is only part one of a few/couple (of) posts. I will be writing more as I pray into this particular subject. This part was more of a testimony/ramble! So sorry if it was a bit rambly and muddled up in a few places - I was just typing as I thought it out!

Blessings
May

Hello friends

So it's been a while! Google tells me the last time I posted was in April 2015, I'm sorry. Between moving house, family illness and starting a new job I've been struggling with finding anytime to really blog. But I promise, now things are settling I will get back into the swing of things.

   I'm also going to be completely honest and tell you that with my life getting a whole lot more busy I've been finding it difficult to spend tonnes (if any) of time with God. Due to my work I missed most Sunday's at church (which, I know many of you totally may shame me for working on a Sunday) was unavoidable. It's not easy, nowadays sustaining a decent job without working the weekends - especially here in the UK. I'll tell you a wee bit about what has been going on over the past 6 or so months.

Leaving university.

So, one of the hardest and most trusting choices I had to make was to leave university. I had always wanted to go to university and felt that it was part of the path that God had set out for my life. As I've probably mentioned before I didn't have the best time at uni, in my first year I preferred going out and drinking to spending time looking at churches (although I did have a church, but didn't really serve in it at all). Then in the second half of that year one of my close friends died, causing me to question God (& in turn the Christians who surrounded me who didn't offer to pray or anything). I then got glandular fever in the summer - which resulted in an incredible realisation of who God was and His awesomeness, but also in me developing post-viral-depression (which is very common in people who've had glandular fever). I hated university at this point and struggled to get out of bed or even socialise. I was exhausted - not only from the glandular fever - but also from the depression (I'm going to do a blog especially on this at some point). This depression grew into anxiety and then led me to really struggle at uni (a place where we were totally independent in working and everything). I had a little job on the side and I'd been going out with Chris for a wee while, so seemingly I had everything made. I let people believe this because it was so much easier to smile and get on with stuff.  But I was struggling a lot. So, after doing uni in third year for a couple of months I finally decided to leave uni. I prayed about it and asked God to make things easier for me if its what was planned. And God totally made things happen.

Moving home.

So, after deciding to leave uni I needed to figure out what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to move closer to Chris, so I spent time thinking and praying about it. I chatted to friends - some girls who I had met the year before about my situation. They laughed as they told me they needed a new flatmate. They lived in the same city as Chris as they were as they were at uni there. So I moved in with them. And honestly, I can say I have been totally blessed by God. The three girls I live with love Jesus, love life and love doing exactly what Jesus wants us to do. Each of them individually emulate Christ in their own unique way and encourage me to do the same. They help me strive toward getting closer to God, ensuring my relationship with Chris is Christ-centred and fulfil my true potential. I couldn't ask for better girls to live with.

New job.

So one more part of the puzzle that needed to be sorted was getting a job. I needed a job that meant that I would be able to live comfortably. I applied for many jobs, including a couple of church admin jobs. I ended up getting a job working for a mental health charity, as a support worker. I found this job not only challenging but also incredibly humbling. After a while I began to realise that God was preparing me for his plan. I was slowly starting to realise that my heart was really for people who were on the edges of society, people who had been forgotten about. This burning in my heart has enabled me to realise that working in the care sector was something that ultimately God had wanted me to do. This job meant that I have began to understand what I am meant to do.

   

That's pretty much what's been going on for the past few months, now you're up to speed I hope you understand why it's been so quiet recently!

I promise I'll get better at doing this again and I'll get back into it. God is going to do incredible things & is already showing my some incredible things that He's already done. I know now that I am to get ready and go - not to wait about until something happens, but God will allow something to happen, but I in turn need to be prepared. So right now I'm preparing myself for the journey He has in store for me and I know that through Him (& only through Him) I will achieve great things. 

Where does blogging come into this?

So I truly believe that God has given me a gift of words. I love writing and reading. Journaling during my quiet time is the best way, I find, for me to really understand what God is saying. I also believe that due to this I have a platform to be brutally honest and vulnerable. I know sometimes it's difficult, when you're struggling to find someone who understands (or sometimes you don't want people to know), so I feel that God has given me this opportunity to write and hopefully support and encourage others who may need it. I also find this is a great way of proclaiming all the amazing things God has done for me. He is amazing and I love telling of his great works in me!

Thanks my friends, talk very soon!

'Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the rock of salvation.' PSALM 95:1

Blessings

May x

Stop just making it a youth movement

Now is the time, God is preparing a generation.

I remember hearing this time and time again as a teenager and in my youth group 'God is building up a generation'. I was excited, I was ready, I was keen...And then I hit twenty. I was no longer a teenager, I was no longer able to go to youth events, be invited to teen-oriented functions or change lives. I felt like I'd wasted my teenage life, I hadn't led thousands of people to faith, I'd hardly brought about a revival. If I was meant to be part of a generation that was going to change the world, maybe I'd just been missed out of this part, maybe I was just not good enough. I'd come to university and I was a young adult, I stopped going to a youth group and started helping out at one, I started being known as someone (and not just my parent's daughter), I'd started being asked to pay taxes - safe to say I'd become an adult. I felt like I'd missed out on this generation movement. God preparing a generation was just a youth thing, not a church thing.

But this is not just a youth movement, the generation doesn't just stop at the youth.

We as a church are a generation, it's not just for the gifted, the old, the young. It is for all of us as a body of Christ. We are all made to praise Jesus; 'Kings of the earth and all peoples; Princes and all judges of the earth; Both young men and virgins; Old men and children. Let them praise the name of the LORD, For His name alone is exalted; His glory is above earth and heaven.…' (Psalm 148 11-13). We all praise Jesus and we all live to serve Him. We shouldn't be stuck in the groups that we have put ourselves into. We shouldn't take away the value from others, we shouldn't limit ourselves to people we relate to better, we should break away from this being a '(fill in appropriate name) movement' and make it a church movement.

This is not just for the youth, this is not a youth movement.

We are part of a generation, all of us. We all are to make a difference to the nation we belong to. Together we create the army that God is creating, we need to stop being civilians and become soldiers. God is rising up the young. God is preparing the old. God is calling the under-qualified. God is preparing the way for the qualified. It doesn't stop. God is calling you. 

We need to break away from the bondage of what we believe, that we are not young enough, clever enough, good looking enough, good enough...we are the generation. Don't just encourage the youth, don't just believe it for the youth, we are a generation that God WILL and DOES use. WE ARE A REVIVAL GENERATION. 

Blessings
May
xx

An artists impression

I love drawing, I always have. I remember constantly drawing when I was younger (when I wasn't eating grass/making homes for woodlice). I'm not going to lie, most of the time my pictures were very much below average and there's only so many times you can pass them off as a surreal piece. It wasn't until school that my self portraits stopped looking like Rod Stewart and a little more like me - they still weren't great though. I just can't draw, I'm really not a very good artist. I struggle with faces still, at the age of twenty I've seemingly regressed to my four year old self, my faces are beginning to look more and more like Scottish singers. I just should probably stop, my art is starting to get offensive.

      With art you really have to focus, you really have to get everything right - it takes time. Artists struggle with doing things by half measures. They put all their effort into it to make it perfect. An artists masterpiece is a prized possession. An artist knows every detail they had to put in to make it and they know all of the preparation it took to make this masterpiece - it's not just an off chance thing.

'You are my work of art, individually created by me for a purpose' Ephesians 2:10. God is an artist and God created us. We are not an accident, we haven't been made as an off-hand production, we are the real deal, made by a real artist. He looks us and knows that we are good. We have been made by the great artist, who knows how many hairs we have on our heads. He took His time when He was creating, He knew what He was doing. He knew the quirks He was giving you, the way you laugh and smile. He knew your mind and your heart long before your parents did. He is your creator, the artist and your ultimate father. He delights in the creation He has made. Artists don't delight in accidents.

       We are made by Him to serve Him. He loves us already, we don't need to aim to please Him - we don't need to try and fill our lives up with the holiest of things and hate ourselves when we miss up. The great thing about it is God delights in us as his masterpieces. He loves us, every little bit of us. To Him we are beautiful, we are created in His image and made to do His work. We are also made individually - this means we are not made to be like everyone else, we are not made to conform. We are  born as an individual, with our own traits and personality. We shouldn't aim to be someone else. No matter how much the world tries to tell us different, you are the best person you can be, you are worth it, you - individually - are amazing. Not all artists images are the same, but they're all beautiful, they all have had work put into them. Works of art are priceless, so are you.

You have been created and designed by a great artist. He made you beautiful and unique to do the work that He wants you to do in your way. We all have different skills and talents that God has given us, we have been chosen for these - the creator has individually chosen us.

Don't ever be less than what He has made you. You're a child of the King, nothing can change that.

Blessings.

May

x

  

FREEDOM

Jesus answered: "I am the way and the truth and the life: no one comes to the Father but through Me." John 14:6

For years I had an alter-ego, this was someone who I would always blame for the things I did wrong, her name was Gemma. She would literally get the blame for everything - in my naive mind I thought this prevent me from getting into trouble, obviously this was not case, but this didn't stop me from blaming her. I never wanted to get into any sort of trouble, so of course I'd blame her. Ideally, Gemma would take all of my blame and be the reason why I did things wrong (of course, years later my parents haven't let me forget...) I always felt like so I didn't get the punishment, I wanted something else to take the blame. But my main problem was that Gemma didn't exist and I would always end up getting the punishment.
     BUT
How great is this - God has paid the way! When sin is concerned He has made a way to eternal life. Sin, shame, regret is pinned to the cross.

We know that - we're taught that from a young age pretty much. But only when we really study the above verse do we actually get some sort of insight to the incredible sacrifice Christ made - so that we may have a clear way to heaven and to God, the father. He took the blame and the suffering so that we may find freedom. It's pretty amazing, the deepest darkest parts of our lives - Christ took for His own. Not only does He give us freedom, but He offers us joy, love everlasting, peace, goodness - it goes on! He paid the price - He took the blame, He served the time. We don't need to have any other sacrifice to gain the glory of God. There is a new covenant made in Christ (this was at the last supper), we no longer need to live in a place where we feel a blockade between us and God, we no longer need to make a sacrifice like in the Old Testament (it was common to kill a lamb). Jesus is the lamb and has made the way to full life in Christ. Through Him all things are made new. When we are born again, when our way to God is made - we have a new identity - our identity in Him, all things gone. All blame, punishment, sin - gone. Our new life is our life. You don't remember anything before you were born do you? So when you were born again, Christ makes no list of your transgressions against Him. A way has been made to fullness in Christ. The way is Christ. He took our punishment, so that we may have life.

Blessings.
May
x

What is church?

What is church? Genuinely, what's your answer to that question? Is it 'a building, with a steeple' or are you a little bit more theological then that and your answer is 'it's a fellowship of Christians, coming together to love and worship God' - which is it? I don't mean to patronise you, but both of these answers are shallow and in some ways completely wrong.

I've always been in the mentality that church is a Sunday thing, happening once a week where we all dress up, look our best and leave our worries at the door. We all smile and laugh - eating the chocolate bourbons, drinking the fair-trade coffee. We have the perfect looking families and have that fixed look of euphoria whenever we worship God, we can give a scripture perfectly at any given moment (although, I did this once and realised I'd quoted Night at the museum rather than the Bible) and share 'Christian jokes'. To be honest, this isn't always what we're feeling. I know there's times I've gone to church and gone through the motions. In my first year of university especially I was going through a really tough time with God, but I'd still go to church every Sunday and smile and put my hands up in the right places - but it would all be empty. I didn't want to admit to anyone that I was having a bad time of it. My idea of church was that I have to be happy, I have to be together and have it all sorted on a Sunday morning, nobody really wanted to know my crap. Is this what church is becoming?

As Christians we are so keen on spreading the good word - this is great - but we miss out key parts. God didn't come for the ones who have it all together.; 'I have not come to call the righteous but the sinners to repentance' Luke 5:32. So many Christians take this as 'well Christians aren't all perfect', yeah this is true - but this isn't wholly what Jesus meant. He meant basically that He came for everyone. He came for the cheaters, the liars, the murderers - as much as He came for the gossips and bullies. But, this is something we forget - something that we do not put as our forthcoming message. With the smiles and the sharp suits we give the impression that we have it all together. We need to stop this, we need to stop putting people off. Church needs to stop being a stage for Christians and start becoming a sanctuary for everyone. Church shouldn't be about the performance, but about the help. We need to establish the grounds in which people are coming to the church. It should become a place that is attractive, and not just a place full of 'weird Christians'. We need to make our main message that of one that will attract non-Christians - not ones that will put people off. Our main ideology (if you like), should be one of love. Ourselves we need to know that a church is a safe place, we don't have to put on pretences in order to please the man sitting next to you. Church shouldn't be just for the Christians.

On a Sunday, come just as you are - don't bottle it up, suit it and boot it. Come with a honest vulnerability and hunger for more of God - we get it, not everything is great all the time.

'Church shouldn't be a museum for saints, but a hospital for sinners'

Blessings
May
x

I see a near revival.

Hello, hello, hello!

So I've just returned from two weeks of utter madness - and in a good way! Week one I spent in Northern Ireland - working within the kids ministry at New Wine Ireland and week two I spent at Soul Survivor Scotland with my own church youth group. Talk about God turning up!

It's been crazy! I've been a Christian for eight years and been around Christians all my life - yet seeing God show up these past few weeks has been mental. God's working within the next generation and I am so excited to see it happen! (The use of exclamation marks shows my excitement...)

New Wine: So this is my second year of working at New Wine - I was a group leader this year and worked in a very loud (massive understatement), crazy, hyper group of kids. It took so much  energy - genuinely tired didn't even cover it. I'd been at a wedding the day before, so I was shattered and not really in the mood for loudness and kids running around. I believe God has a sense of humour. My kids just loved to run around, the first night (I was expecting shyness and meekness) I spent running after kids, shouting their names and calling on other leaders for help - was not expecting this! I ended the night absolutely exhausted and wondering why I was even here. That night I worshipped with some friends and prayed for my group (almost begrudgingly - I just wanted my bed!) The next day I was ready, pumped up and energized for the day - and what a day it was, another day of running misbehaving kids. I was really running out of patience. I began chatting to one of my kids and he told me that he wanted to give his life to Jesus - serious praises! I sat down with him and prayed, his mood altered and he changed. He still ran riot but he was loving and kind toward me. That night I gave it all to God again and went to sleep. Lets go to the Wednesday now, the mood had changed. Something had happened. During the talks the older kids were getting pictures and words (these are kids all around 10/11). They began openly praying for each other. It was amazing. Even in my own wee group my kids began listening and four more accepted Jesus into their lives. They began to follow Jesus that day and the change in them was crazy. They began to pray in the group and pray for healing. The ones who were too shy or stubborn to speak out were now praying for the kids at the front. One boy was healed (his younger brother was in my group), he promptly gave his life. This was a life-changing week. Parents came to me in tears, praising Jesus for what He had done in their children - it was unbelievable. God showed up.
   He's working with the young and rising up those who we may look on as too young to understand - but the change seen that week was incredible. Strong men and women of God were being created and made in that week, ministers, preachers, evangelists - I could give names to each of these. God was doing amazing things and is rising up a generation - watch this space.

Soul Survivor - Yes! Huge fan of Soul Survivor. Loved it in England, was looking forward to this one in Scotland. We went with our youth group of around thirteen and for the first time (in a long time) I was a youth leader - fully fledged. The first night was unreal and the enthusiasm was amazing. I was not expecting the kids in my youth group to be so involved by the first night - it was immense. The week went on and questions were asked, points were made and discussions were had. But at the main meetings the kids were incredible. Their pure love for God shone out and it was so exciting to see! On top of this the friendships shown within the youth group was amazing. When you see pure Godly friendships - you realise how wholesome and genuine they are. These kids loved each other and loved the Lord. I loved watching them interact with the word and with one another - it was amazing. Again, God showed up - and again He gave the group pictures and words - questions were asked surrounding the Holy Spirit and it was amazing to be able to work and journey with the kids as they discovered more of God. Not only that, but the overwhelming sense of God's love was so thick and tangible that I couldn't get enough. I got a complete peace and utter sense of trust in Him and it was amazing. God has began something here as well.

It's clear by everything that something is happening - God is on the move and He is rising up generations to prepare for what is going to happen. These kids are being equipped at young ages, to be teachers and warriors of Christ - how exciting is that!

I see a near revival. 

Gossip girl (part one - first impressions are everything)

I've finally introduced my boyfriend to the wonders of Downton Abbey. He actually loved it - although he'd never admit it. I have the first three series and I've watched them multiple of times. I know all the characters and their secrets, but Chris doesn't - this is all new to him. As we settled down to watch the first ever episode I was itching to tell him all about Thomas and his secret life and the other characters and what they get up to (especially Mary...) but I also didn't want to ruin it for him. That wouldn't have been fair. He would have had this expectation of the characters as soon as I had said anything about them, he would've had his opinion made far too early before he could decide on it himself.

The problem is; gossip and bitchiness is very much like this. We ruin other people's perceptions of people before they even know them. We destroy any chance of independent thought because we have already made a conscious effort to make what we think about them. There are many people I know who I know things about that I just shouldn't know. People whose names I can barely remember seemingly have their past etched onto my mind due to the act of someone else.

    I'm not saying for one minute that I don't do this - I do struggle with it. I also often give the excuse of 'but I'm a girl' but that doesn't work. Our gender shouldn't define what we are in a negative way. As girls of God we should endeavour to change people's perceptions of women. We shouldn't fall into gossip or bitchiness. It doesn't help, encourage or build anyone. We stop people's access to knowing other people because they are so warped by the things that we have said. We shouldn't ruin the character of someone else but let people make their own decision.

Imagine if someone introduced you with all your sin attached. You would be hated and ashamed. This should never be the way, if people don't know you, they don't need to know what you've done. So this shouldn't be the case for anyone else.

Gossip genuinely hurts and destroys. Peoples first impressions leave an impact - so let it be from them and not from you.

His name is higher than anything. His name heals diseases, sets the captives free, saves us. He is above all.

We should all want to be ginger

I'm not a natural ginger, but for the short few years that I've rocked the red headed look I've experienced just a taster of anti-gingerness. People really have an issue with gingers - I don't really see where it's come from, but it's obvious. It doesn't conform with the blondes and brunettes of society, it's OTT and orange. Famous gingers are known mainly for their hair colour (however, for fancy dress this usually means us gingers are able to dress up in an old school uniform - donning a cape and witches hat and claim to be a Weasley). We are race in ourselves. We are admired by some (usually older women who tell you how nice your hair colour is - trying to convince you/themselves that it's okay), feared by many...but we are our own people. So what if we don't conform, we stand out and as we grow older and the carrot taunts fade into Indian sunset comments and we happily claim; GINGER AND PROUD! Not conforming is kind of cool.

        I know I'm not a natural red-head, but I love being ginger. I love how it does stand out (and hey, people think it's natural anyway). It's interesting and different. The idea of not conforming is something that has also stuck out to me recently. In the Bible it says; 'Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind' (Romans 12:2). This is a pretty simple message - do not become part of this world, in the way it goes about things. There are many things in the world that are desirable, we can go along with our friends or different ways people live their lives - that do seem attractive, but these things are part of the world and not part of God's plan. Conformity does not make us stand out - it makes us of the world, doing the things they do. The world sees no difference in the way we act to the way they act - how can they see God in you? We should all endeavour to let God shine out - for Him to be our main attraction, the light in our lives that others see.

       I've experienced what it's like to want to be part of the world - I'm not narrow minded and I am able to draw from my own experience. It seems great, we want to fit it, to conform. The idea of being 'a ginger' frightens us. We strive to fit it, to not seem weird (especially because people think Christians are weird anyway). We go the way of the world. But this doesn't work out - this is empty, this doesn't offer us a future. Our renewed mind in Christ should offer us that future, that promise. Be in the world, but not of the world. Basically, don't cut yourself off from people, putting yourselves into Christian bubbles, looking down on people, condemning them - but don't fall into the routine that they do. Both ways are harmful and won't help your spiritual growth or that of others. Conformity isn't the only problem - removing yourselves from people is to. You need to go into every situation with God and protection - but be a friend, not a judge

Don't conform to the crowd, stand out and be proud (I don't know why I'm now rhyming).

Blessings

May

x

       

Go, go, go Joseph

One time during a sleepover my friend sat up in bed (she was asleep) and shaking her doll pointed toward the dark corner. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO FREAKED OUT IN MY LIFE. It was literally the creepiest moment of my life (I don't know if it helps that I am petrified of the dark). I have no idea what she was dreaming about, but dreams are weird. I don't just mean the ones that result in you pointing to random parts of the room - but the ones that we have that make us think about our lives. When I was much younger I always had a dream job - I wanted to be a rabbit (yeah, it's pretty cute). I was committed to this dream, my parents humoured me, probably. I really wanted to be a rabbit. Alas, due to quite obvious reasons I was never able to do this. As I grew up I realised that it was impossible, I gained new job prospects ranging from being a vet to being an actor. I never really pursued these ideas (I'm doing an English degree, I am freaked out by most animals and can be painfully shy). But I still dreamed big. It was the only way.

Let's talk about Joseph. *SPOILER ALERT* He was a big dreamer - his whole life was based on dreams. He also got a pretty fabulous coat out of it. Definitely one of the Bible's best dressed. He had dreams that confused him but also built him up. He was part of a big family - all boys, even the notion. They all had a bit of an issue with Joseph- poor little Joey. They basically thought him as really cocky. He was their dad's favourite and never had to do any work. He then had the audacity to tell them how their corn was going to bow down to his. (You should really check out the musical with Donny Osmond - just fantastic.) So, they decided to kill him - well attempt to kill him. They attacked him and left him for dead - but then, change of heart - they decided to sell him off to some Israelites and make him go to Egypt. Harsh. I don't think I'd ever sell any of my brothers, well maybe Reuben...(totally joking). Fast forward a little, Joseph is working for Potiphar (pretty important guy in Egypt) - he's committing to it, doing all he can and gets a promotion. But all is not well, he's caught the attention of Potiphar's wife - who really wants a piece. Of course, Joseph being a good and faithful servant rejects her - but to his horror she tells her husband different. This results in Joseph getting chucked into jail. Knocked down again. He stays in prison for a while, meeting a butler and a baker (also resulting in a brilliant musical sequence in the film, with colour, flowers and a weird hippy man...). He interprets the dreams of both men - one good, one not so good (sorry Christopher Biggins). Move on a little later and the butler (the one who survived) tells the Pharaoh of this great man who can interpret dreams - Joseph. The Pharaoh calls Joseph to the stand and tells him of his dreams - involving cows. Joseph is able to translate these dreams and save Egypt from the famine that is going to happen (pretty good of him to be quite honest). He then becomes prime minister of Egypt. ENTER JOSEPH'S BROTHERS. Oh, how the mighty of fallen! They don't recognise their own brother - so come and fall to their knees and bow down in front of him (sound familiar?) - quick side note: there is a famine in the land where Joseph's brothers are from too - they come to Egypt because they know that Egypt is plentiful. Joseph feeds them and gives them food for their families. However, sneaky Joe puts a cup in Benjamin's bag...when he is brought up on it and sentenced to prison the brothers all fall to their knees begging Joseph to let him go. Joseph reveals himself as he realises his brothers have changed. All is well and good and his family (+ daddy Jacob) come and live with him in Egypt. The end.

Sorry if that was a little long-winded, but I was just giving you a little background. Throughout the story Joseph was beaten up, he was put into prison and ridiculed. Nobody liked him - he was favoured by people (his dad and Potiphar) but then cast out by people who wanted to destroy him. People got jealous of him and didn't like it. But Joseph didn't give up, he still had dreams. He had the dreams when he lived at home - God gave him the dreams, an insight to his future. He was thrown around and beaten, but his dreams still came true. He got knocked down, but he got back up again (resisting the urge to burst into song...). When God gives you dreams, He is going to keep to them. No matter what you go through. Joseph was rejected, but his skills and talents that were God given were able to put to the use to put him in the position God had planned for him. 

    It's not easy following God's plan  - we get knocked down a lot, but we need to get back up again and brush ourselves off. What if Joseph had admitted defeat when he knew his brothers didn't like him, or when he became a slave? He wouldn't have been promoted, he wouldn't have been able to interpret dreams, he wouldn't have been able to save Egypt. God put him in a place for a reason - he didn't have it easy, but if he did none of this would've happened. If he had never gone to prison, he would never have met the butler - he would never have known he would have been able to definitely interpret dreams...it wouldn't have made good news. God made his life the way it was to put him to the position he was in. It worked out perfectly. If God has given you dreams, don't be disheartened if things look bleak at the moment - God never gives up on His promises, dream and dream big.

Blessings

May

x 

I enjoyed morphine too much

I used to try and get off going to school as much as I could as a child. I would always pretend I was sick to not go in, and to be honest it worked a lot of the time. I don't know when I started 'being ill' all the time, but I was a fast learner. I realised that being ill the morning of school wasn't enough. So I started really plotting, really committing to being ill. I'd start the night before (genius, I know), I'd time it perfectly - as soon as I knew my mum was coming through the door I'd lie pathetically on the sofa (or, for real illness perfection and real commitment, on my bed). My mum would come in and shout 'hi', a weak and feeble 'hello' greeted her back as I groaned in 'agony', (usually at this point I would've moaned about how ill I was to my sister, who was usually overly sympathetic - thank-you Grace (laying the foundations early on)). My mum would then come in and check on me. If I was downstairs, she'd make me go to bed, I would climb the stairs - slowly, heavy breathing all the time. I'd stay in my room for the evening, when dinner was called I'd pretend to be asleep (please note: before any of this took place I'd gage the situation - what dinner would be). If they came to check on me I'd close my eyes, facing the door (surely if I was faking it I wouldn't be so fearless as to face the door). I'd then go to sleep - waking the next morning, a little earlier than usual (very unlike me). I'd go downstairs, clutching my stomach and tell my mum and dad how unwell I felt..this usually was the clincher - my mum would look at my dad and my dad at my mum and they'd tell me to go back to bed - I was too ill for school. It took all the energy within me to not jump up and down with great joy. I'd go to bed smiling (luckily, due to early waking up I was able to go back to sleep - the signs of a true illness). On other days my mum would say the immortal words of; 'Go and have a shower and see how you feel'.  No words have disappointed me more.
       I was never really sick, I just couldn't be bothered with school. I'm not sure whether my parents knew that or not - or maybe acting is really my forte. But I never really had that much of an illness - I was really lucky. Last year however I got sick, nothing serious, it was glandular fever (most people gasp at that, but I can't help feeling it sounds wonderfully romantic and Victorian). I got it during the summer holiday from uni - a week before my sister's wedding. However, I wasn't diagnosed till about three weeks later. I'm pretty sure my parents thought I was faking it (all too used to my school days of 'being ill'), but I was genuinely really sick. I was hospitalised (sorry for how dramatic that sounds) a few days after my sister got married and kept in for a week - they didn't know what it was. I can't really remember much of being in hospital (except a nurse kept singing 'Rose garden' and I had some hilarious moments due to morphine). I then went to stay with a really kind and Godly lady from church - she looked after me and I was really grateful (and still am). I was told I'd have to probably defer second year at university and go home. I prayed hard for healing and my parents had people at their church praying too. I couldn't bear not going into second year. Guess what? Prayer worked. I was better (I still had a lot of pain in my liver, but was able to carry on university), I went into second year. I was properly ill, like bed-bound ill for around 7 weeks - glandular fever usually takes months to clear.  God had worked in me and healed me from the inside out.
     One of the most poignant times of my illness was when I was woken up with the sun burning down on me - I woke up, feeling quite woozy, but as the wooziness subsided I waited for the nauseating pain of the glandular fever to set it - it didn't come. I still had the dull ache in my liver, but I could live with that. I felt better. Later that day I phoned my parents telling them how much better I felt. They were stunned and told me that one of the men in church had prayed for the sun to shine on me and for me to be healed. Amen. How great is our God?! Throughout the time of my illness, and a little bit after I prayed and worshipped God - I spent hours waiting on Him and worshipping His name - at the time it was all I could do. He strengthened me in so many ways and appeared to me. He may not have healed me straight away but the work that He did in me has made a lasting difference. I now love God with all my heart, I've seen His miracles first hand and know how great He is. He may not have healed me, but He was doing something.

God may not heal straight away, but He has the power to do so. When we're waiting on God we learn so much. A part I failed to mention was how much I needed to see God at that point in my life. I'd had a dodgy year and had been away from God. God could've healed me straight away - that would've been great, but He worked in me when I needed Him to, I don't think I would've rested on God and waited on Him as much if I had returned to full health straight away. He strengthened me when I was weak. God works like that. He knows the best plan for us. He can heal, He is a healing God who lovingly restores what needs to be restored. At the time of my illness, my faith needed restoration more than my body did. In the end He healed me, but He made sure my faith was healed. Even if God doesn't heal you, He has the power to do so. Some great people have not been healed, they continue to pray, or, in some cases, have lost the battle - but their faith and belief in God has endured and His name is victorious. God does everything for a purpose.

'O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me' (Psalm 30:2)

Blessings.
May
x
   
   

Sorry I'm not Jane Austen

I stand there on the moors, the biting wind eating away at my raw, naked hands. My hair falls around me, wild and free. I look out across the vast emptiness of the grey landscape. A lone tree grows in the distance - leaves have fallen around the trunk, dead and lifeless, standing there, stark and empty. His arms come around me, and I feel his warmth. I love him, his rugged good looks, his silent demeanour and his quick temper. It seemed crazy that I could fall in love with him, lowly stable boy. I couldn't deny my love, it was exciting yet comforting. I found myself falling for him every time I saw him. I turned to him, our lips meeting.

STOP! Sorry, this is not an Austen novel. The heroes of the Bronte sisters do not exist in the real world. No Heathcliff or Mr Darcy will come and sweep you off your feet - that just doesn't happen. We live in a world that craves love. The Beatles wrote songs about it, Marilyn Monroe starred in films about it and John Keats wrote poems about it. Love is pretty much everywhere - so it's understandable that we want to fall in love - to have a taster of what they all speak about, this thing called love. But it's tough, it's a difficult process to get into a relationship that glorifies God. So, how can we, as Christians get into a loving relationship that is Christ centred? 

    There's a lot of pressure for Christians to get into relationships - we are bombarded with questions as soon as we become friends with someone of the opposite sex. If we're still single at 20 people start telling us that it's okay to be single - after all Jesus was. Sometimes we get into relationships and we struggle to make sure God is the centre of it. Personally I find myself looking at other people's relationships, thinking how Godly they are, how they never have any trouble, how ideal their relationships are. So how are we able to make sure we have relationships that are God-filled and who is the right person for us?

You and God

Before anything though you need to sort it with God - this is clearly the most important relationship you're even going to have. You cannot go into a relationship without prayer - like most big decisions we make, to have a clear head about it. With prayer you are able to prepare yourself and prepare your heart for the relationship you are going into. This means that the relationship you are in will be God-driven. You cannot expect the other person to pull you upward in your faith, because at the end of the day when one of you is weaker - and not doing anything about it - it will drag the other down. Being mature in your faith is key before going into a relationship. You are able to offer great support as well as ensuring your relationship is Godly. 

     Another key step of a relationship is not looking for it. It's a cliché - but it's a cliché that we should all listen to. When we search for a relationship we struggle in being happy with one. We settle for the first thing that comes along , we don't wait to find the person that God wants us to have - this is damaging. You leave yourself disappointed and lost. We put importance in the person as opposed to putting it in God. Instead of focussing yourself of finding a relationship, give it to God. Allow yourself to fall in love with God all over again. If someone wants to find you, they'll go to God - you should be so in love with Him. He is your first true love.

It's all in the heart.

As humans we look on the outside first - obviously. We're not going to want a chocolate cake if it looks disgusting. I'm not going to pretend we don't live in a world where looks don't matter, of course they do. Christians aren't any different. We don't have some power that means that we can see if somebody has a great personality or not, we struggle as much as everyone else. So how do we find 'the one' (I cringed myself as I wrote that, don't worry, we're all cringing together)? 

    We mustn't all look for the same thing. Everyone has an ideal person in their mind; guitar playing, floppy haired, pastors son (just to name a few of my own), but this does not mean that this is necessarily the right person for you. I believe that God does fulfil our desires - but sometimes what we think is right for us isn't always the case. When I came to university I loved the idea of single Christian men. I was from a rather small church with hardly any boys my age, so going to a university with tonnes of Christian boys - excited doesn't cover it.  But now I have a boyfriend and he's not from my university. This doesn't mean that the boys from university aren't good enough for my, or aren't Godly enough. It just means they're not for me, not who God has planned for me. We may be alongside other Christians - but it's not always the case that they're ideal for us for romantic relationships. (God gives us people who we can have alongside us in platonic ways - these will help us grow too). My friend once described boys as a notebook; When you want a notebook you go into a shop to get one, there are many different types of notebook - all beautiful and attractive, however, there is only really one that suits us. This does not mean that the remaining notebooks aren't attractive - they're just not your type.

      One of the most key aspects of finding 'the one' (sorry) is their relationship with God. A person should be so in love with God, their heart only for Him, that you have to go to God to find it. God should always be the centre of your relationship, so when you're looking for the other person, God should be the one who you go through to find them. A person's spirit should become the main attraction - easier said then done. It kind of helps that I met my boyfriend at a Christian event, but the fact is one of the main attractions should be the persons spirituality. We should look further than the outward appearance - don't judge a book by its cover and all that. Look into the heart of a person, get to know them. Pray about it. When you pray into a relationship you are able to get the most out of it, it also enables you to make sure God remains the centre of it. Your relationship becomes a God-given relationship.

Mistakes can happen!

Relationships are great - but we sometimes trick ourselves into thinking that they have to be perfect all of the time. This is not the case (sorry Chris!). Relationships take work, it's not going to be easy, they take sacrifice and commitment. Just because you struggle a little in your relationship does not mean that it's not worth it. Relationships take time, you are getting to know each other as well as learning how to be in love. You've stopped becoming just one person, caring for yourself - but you now have somebody else to care about. Allow them to make mistakes but at the same time offer them sacrifice - give them a chance! It's okay to argue, it doesn't mean you're going to break up. Arguments happen, but with prayer and petition you are able to get through them. Be your own person, with your own faith - do not let your own faith be compromised by the relationship. Stay strong in what you believe and your relationship with God.

    Keep God centre - remember Him in all you do. This reminder stops from sexual immorality and also enables us to look to God throughout the relationship. Making God centre - a relationship becoming a three stranded chord; 'A chord of three strands is not quickly broken' (Ecclesiastes 4:22).  When God is centre it's easier for the relationship to move forward as well as strengthening the faith of both people. Keep on praying and keep Him in your heart, try not to lose Him in the relationship. Let God guide your relationship.

I may not know everything about relationships, in fact I know I don't know everything - but that was a little insight into what I think a relationship should have. Not all relationships are the same but God is the same, yesterday, today and forever. 

Blessings.

May.

x

  

Stop a moment

Just stop.

In a world full of movement it's very difficult to take a moment and just stop. We struggle to take time out for anything other than what we need to do, what we deem as important. Even when we seem not to be busy we still find it difficult to just stop. Smart phones and laptops hinder this in the same way, social networking has become so easy to do from pretty much anywhere, so even when we do think we're resting we still seem to find ourselves on Twitter or Facebook just waiting. The amount of times we must go on people's facebook just to stalk them (or to get annoyed by them in my case), is ridiculous (awkward now if I'm the only one who does it...). We are in a world that is ruled by technology and moving forward, we forget the small things, we forget just to be still.

'Be still, and know that I am God' (Psalm 46:10)

This is one of my favourite verses, it's poignant and hard hitting whilst it remains a simple message. Be still.
    I'm a full time student studying English (yes, it is a real degree..), I also have a part time job (I sell kilts) and serve in my church. It's not really that much, but that, on top of spending time with my friends, really does all add up. I find myself at the end of the week getting into bed and wondering where the week has gone. On occasion I realise I haven't prayed, again. It's not out of not wanting to, it's purely because I forget to put time aside to spend with God. I sometimes feel working in church is enough, I forget to take time with God and completely abandon myself to Him. This then becomes a problem. I love serving in my church, working with young people is incredible - I love seeing them grow and the rising up of a new generation, it's so exciting to see. I encourage them to read their Bible and pray, spending much needed time with God - even though I sometimes forget this myself. I try and input into their lives, but as I lack spending time with God, I subsequently lack in the quality of my input. I'm sure you're familiar with the phrase 'You reap what you sow', this does not just count in the way in which we treat people, it also means that what we sow into our life - what we invest in (take time with God) - shows in our lives and our teachings. Without being still and properly spending time with God we fall away from knowing Him, from getting properly close to Him. We can't expect to know someone we don't take time in knowing.
     I feel however the above verse isn't just about spending time in getting to know God, I think it's also just spending time with God - letting His abundant love wash over you. God loves you so much and wants nothing more than for you to spend time with Him; resting in His love. When was the last time you actually spent time in God's presence when you weren't praying for something? When you were totally and utterly overwhelmed by Him; when His love was tangible? I think we sometimes forget just how precious we are in Christ - you are His child and He more than delights in you, sometimes we need to refresh this in our minds, we need to remind ourselves of His unconditional love.  Get to know God's character, get to know His plans for you and remind yourself how much He delights in you. It's something we sometimes take for granted. We are taught as children that God is all loving, but as we grow up we forget this. When we are children we delight in prayer, in learning more of Him. How often do we still do that? We need to remember our childlike faith and come to God as His child. When we do this we find it easier to hear God - to rest in His grace and to read His word.
    It's easier said than done. You may read this, feel a bit convicted, pray tonight and then get busy again. You may not find the right sort of structure to help you. I know not everyone's way of spending quiet time is the same, I get that people have different ways of doing it (some people like set times, others don't mind it not being the same time every day). It doesn't matter how you do it - it doesn't make you more/less holy than the next person, people are just different. But here is my own personal way I master quiet time; (DISCLAIMER: quiet time does not have to be a big thing - you can also have quiet time on your way to work/school/university - this is just for the time when you need to be still).

*Put time aside. This isn't a chore - but make sure you are able to make time to get into God. Don't do it as a last minute thing. First thing in the morning is a great time, but this isn't completely necessary, whatever you feel best with*

1) Turn it off. This does not mean put everything on silent, it means turn it off, right off (I sound like a public awareness video). By doing this you have no temptation to look at your phone at all. Even better, put it in a different room.
2) Be alone. I truly believe that we all need time to rejuvenate on our own. As much as fellowship is great for our walk with God, also taking some time for just you and God is beneficial too. This way we are able to have an intimate time with Him.
3) Worship. One thing I find very helpful is the use of worship music whilst spending time just with God. The power of music and worshipping this way is incredible. One of the reasons most people burn out after a conference/festival is because they are not given the opportunity to have worship every morning/evening.
4) Write stuff down. This one really benefits me; I have a notebook (this is a great opportunity to raid Paperchase for their notebooks) and I write down my prayers and thoughts and what God has said to me. It works so well because I can look back on it and see how God has really worked in me - it reminds me of His promises and encourages me. It is also a great place to put the Bible verses that have stuck out for you.
5) Don't time it. Allow yourself to get lost in God, stop thinking about what your plans are. Take your rest in God (this is why it's best not to have time just before you're doing something). Quiet times don't have to last days, but make sure you aren't just doing it to tick it off your list.

     Put time aside to spend with God, don't make it a chore on your to-do list, delight in spending time with Him. Turn off your phone, disable your Facebook, just take time to be still and know that He is God. Rest in His presence a while. Remind yourself of all He has done for you, the miracles He has performed. He is God.

Blessings
May
x

I make good gravy

There always seems to be that one person who is good at EVERYTHING. They seem to effortlessly be able to go out and do everything they set their mind to. They can sing, dance, act, look good whilst laughing - pretty much do everything. I, however, am not one of those people. But I admit that, I have finally come to the realisation that I am not especially talented, but God delights in me anyway. This didn't stop my parents from encouraging me in all my endeavours. As a child I learnt ballet, violin, flute, had singing lessons, rode a horse (once) and was encouraged with acting. Clearly none of these talents really worked out, but my parents were keen to encourage me either way, they made sure that if I wanted to do it I could. I learnt pretty early on that it's tough to be talented - you have to stick it out, it doesn't come naturally to you. I also learnt that with the right encouragement and support you are able to do what you set your mind to (or in my case willingly accept defeat). In fact, once when I asked my friends what my talents were I was given 'makes good gravy', which I'm cool with. I do make good gravy.
    It seems in the Christian world that there are two types of talent; the worship leaders and the preachers. Everything else is what we say when we feel people need humbling. It seems that everybody aspires to be up at the front being the all singing, all dancing leaders in the church - because God loves those people more, right? Growing up in church has taught me a lot of things and one of the main things was that a lot of people aim high - missing out a few key things on the way. They become a servant to themselves and not to God. They forget that we are here to serve the Living God - that does not just come in the form of being at the front (that does help), but being in the background. The talents don't just end at what we can see, but what God sees.
    It's tough growing up with older siblings, my sister was the clever, pretty one who seemed to do amazingly at school. My older brother was the same (maybe not so much pretty, but he had the banter). Grace played the clarinet and Alexander played the drums, even my little brother  plays the guitar. It's pretty tough. I know what it's like to seemingly have no talent. I sort of came to a point in my life where I was just going to be a nice person (still working on that one...), but then God really spoke to me. Just because I wasn't necessarily talented with things that people see as being great talents (Godly talents) didn't mean that I wasn't blessed with talents of my own. It also didn't mean I was less holy because I could strum four chords on a guitar. (DISCLAIMER: I'm not for one second suggesting that people who lead worship/preach lack talent, you guys just got it good).
     God delights in all we do, talents don't go as far as what we can show off in a talent show - but certain attributes fall under he heading of 'Talents'. We are giving certain things we can act with - we are blessed our personalities, our attitudes toward different things and the way in which we approach things. An example of this is my friend (not going to name her because it'll be awkward), but she is talented and not necessarily in the obvious ways - well she is, but there not the things that stick out for me. She is kind, loving, willing, encouraging (the amount of times she's encouraged me with blogging and writing - I make her read all my stuff because I know she'll help and encourage as oppose to mock and hinder), she is so servant hearted that it is heart warming to see. You might not think these attributes are talents - but I truly believe they are, she has a child-like spirit, of which I am envious - but that adds to her character, it's one of her talents. She doesn't have to make a big deal of it, but her talents are obvious.  It's such a pleasure to watch her grow and to have her with me, the talents she possesses help me realise my own talents. The encouragement she offers is great - it changes a lot.
     On a little side not I would like to approach encouragement, as I mentioned above my parents would be keen to encourage me in all I did. Encouragement goes so far, if someone is good at something or shows talented attributes you need to encourage them, most of the time they aren't even aware of what they're doing, they're never encouraged - this is a tough part of it. We are told in the Bible to encourage one another - this does not mean only encourage those who are easy to encourage.  ' Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing' (1 Thessalonians 5:11). When we encourage one another we build each other up, we let people know that what they're doing is good. Just because it doesn't seem like a 'worthy enough talent' doesn't mean that it is. Encourage those around you, the quiet ones, the ones who pours the after service coffee, the prayer ministry, the woman who always asks how you are and actually shows an interest. God delights in each and every one of them, just as much as the man on the stage- their talents are noticed by Him so therefore should be really noticed by us.
    Everyone is talented. We all have different attributes which add to our character. As cliche and patronising as it does sound - sometimes just being a kind person is a talent, offering up your time to work in church, being that one person who makes sure the little old lady at that back has somebody to talk to shows your true servant loving heart. These talents are spoken about so much and so often we see them pass us by. Engage with your talents, just because you're not at the front doesn't limit you,  God has empowered you with talents that make you who you are. Find yours out and work on them, don't do them for your glory - but for the glory of God.

Blessings.
May
x

How about a Christian coffee?

I remember when the first Christian boy asked me out for a coffee. Oh my life, I was excited! It's a well known fact that a Christian date is a coffee. Christians everywhere meet up in quirky coffee shops, drinking fair trade coffee out of colourful mugs with their future husbands/wives whilst a totally Christian-friendly singer strums a few chords on an acoustic guitar. Such a Christian cliche, I was looking forward to it. I donned my skinny jeans, TOMs and baggy t-shirt, pure Christian chic. I had my nose pierced (edgy), which made me really look like a Christian who knew how to have fun (but not too much fun, my nose piercing was a stud - don't want to seem to rebellious and go for a hoop - IMAGINE) I walked into the crowded coffee house and saw my man here, reading a Francis Chan book and cross referencing to his well thumbed Bible. I looked at myself in the reflective glass (I didn't go with that much make-up, I wanted to emulate Ruth not Hagar) and made my way over. Sitting down opposite him he looked up, quiffed hair looking flawless. His chequed shirt looked great on him and I could see his guitar next to him (just in case music just came to him). He smiled at me and asked what I wanted - a standard coffee, with just milk.  Very Christian.  I knew he was going to fall in love with me right there and then. As he came back and we sat and chatted I spoke about how epic God was and how I felt Hillsong's latest album had really affected me, spiritually. I spoke about how I felt like Esther, how I loved God and how I loved praying. He smiled as I spoke and took my hand...I then woke up.

I don't think I've ever been on an actual coffee date, I've met up with people for coffee and my boyfriend Chris and I go for coffee, but I've never done the hipster boy meets girl over Bible reading in coffee shop. Maybe I missed out? Maybe not. From a young age I wanted to get married. I'd be the one who'd suggest playing kiss-chase in the playground, I'd also be the one who stood still waiting for the boys to 'catch me', I had an imaginary boyfriend at quite a young age (to be honest I think that says more about me than anyone else), I'd jump at any chance to meet Christian boys and truly felt God was calling me to get married as soon as I was legally able to. Surprisingly I didn't date all that much, well no serious dates. At the time I was convinced I was going to marry anyone who prayed over me. Then I was old enough to go to Soul Survivor. Oh how a new world how been opened up to me, there weren't just boys from the churches in our city, but from all over. Floppy haired, chequed shirt wearing, guitar playing, Jesus loving boys.
    I'm embarrassed when I think back now on how much of a cringe I was when I met Christian boys. I'd decide that God wouldn't have put them in my life unless He wanted me to marry them - that makes sense? I couldn't see how I was meant to have male friends or how that would have ever worked. I do believe God does provide you with your heart's desires, so for me this was a husband, but I definitely was looking for it in all the wrong places. I started misreading signals from boys and 'falling in love' with worship leaders at various Christian conferences. I don't feel I was ever taught the true value of friendship in some ways. I feel like I missed out a lot as a teenager because of this. I didn't really know that Christian boys and girls can be friends without there being anything in it. I've learnt that now.
     Christian friendships are truly precious. They are the kind of friendships that we should cherish. Being friends with someone of the same sex is vital for our spiritual development - we need to be alongside people who are similar to us (as a girl who is more similar to you than another girl?), who can hurt for us and love us no matter what - getting alongside people of the opposite sex isn't enough. No matter how much you think you don't need people of the same sex as your friends, you do - believe me, a time will come when you realise this. But being friends with people of the opposite sex is incredible too, having a true and platonic friendship with them is a desire we should all seek. I know that I have boys in my life who I adore in a totally platonic way, true men of God who are strong and powerful, who challenge and encourage me. They are my brothers in Christ - I do not seem them in any way other than this. Being a girl and having boy friends is key to my own development and understanding. I have a boyfriend who I love and I have friends who are platonic. There's a massive difference. These friendships are true, wholesome and totally brotherly. I adore it. I know the annoyance first-hand of fellow Christians questioning the relationship between you and someone else - it's annoying and it should stop. But in order to do that you need to keep the friendship clean and platonic. Do not flirt with the idea of a possible relationship if you don't want it. Encourage each other like you would a brother for that is the strongest bond.
      The Bible teaches us on the importance of fellowship - it is vital. Not every Christian boy I meet is going to be my boyfriend, but there will be boys who will become my brothers. We need to ensure that we encourage this - more relationships between boys and girls that are clean cut and innocent. Friendships help build people up and having someone of the opposite sex is so handy for that.
'A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity' (Proverbs 17:17)

Make brothers and sisters in Christ - we don't need to all marry the first Christian boy that shows interest in us. Relationships are great, but friendships are the real deal - a true brother loving relationship which nurtures and helps. A lasting friendship that can be done over coffee.

Blessings.
May
x

I found love in a hopeless place

I used to love following my older siblings around, they clearly hated it. I was three years younger than my sister and just a year younger than my brother. I loved them to bits (& I still do) but I probably annoyed them no end. This one time our family went to Germany on holiday and we visited a lake. My brother decided it would be a good idea to wade out into the lake, I followed him promptly and as it got deeper I continued to follow him - I had committed and even though I was only about four and I couldn't swim I was going to follow Alexander. I don't really know what the plan was or the point of the voyage into the lake, but I didn't care. I was following Alexander, my big brother, I couldn't be happier. Then I slipped.
...
I obviously didn't die. I did however just lie there, excepting my fate...I don't really remember much of it except my dad running into the water and totally rescuing me. His big arms came around me and picked me up, saving me from drowning. I don't think I really cared at the time, I probably just ate sand or something on the shore part - I was too young to really think anything of it. My sister had screamed the whole time and my brother found the whole thing absolutely hilarious. But my father came and reached me out and rescued me. (There literally cannot be a bigger metaphor than that...)

The name of my blog 'Ruins to Glory' is very representative of my life - of my walk with Christ. Truly I was pulled out of the rubble of my life and put in God's light. He has saved me and given me a life - and life to the fullest. God reached into my life when I needed Him & not just when I became a Christian but throughout my life. I think back on the times where I struggled and was far from God - but I look back and I can notice now how God was there, in situations and parts of my life that seemed dark God was there. I am able to say that now God has truly been my saviour. He has the power to lift you out of any situations. We are able to live our life how we want, for God or not - He has given us free will to do so, but also loves us. When we need Him, when we call out to God He will show up. 

I know this video is about 45 years old but this video for me is one of the most emotional and in-depth explanations of Jesus' love. We see the girl at the start dancing with Jesus - this exciting new and beautiful feeling we have when we first give our lives, however she is then challenged with obstacles like boys, money, self-image and alcohol. We see her move away from God and be controlled by these things that are of the world. But as it all comes to a head she goes back to Jesus. However, she is torn apart by the things she is involved with - she becomes a ruin, but before it all gets too much Jesus steps in and protects he. She has lived a life of sin, yet He refuses to let her go. He saves His daughter from downing. God picks you up - He will never let you fall, He delights in you and is in love with you. Know His love and forgiveness and all He has to offer. God will be there in the anguish and the pain, when all seems lost - all you need to do it look for Him - He will fight for you.

Blessings.

May.

x

I am going to write a blog, but first, let me take a selfie

Meeting someone new is always quite a scary prospect - we never really know how to act. I am forever envious of those people who can make a great first impression, that's not me. I think I have a problem sometimes with how much of an awkward first impression I make. I remember needing to meet my boyfriend's parents and how frightened I was - not because of them, but because I just can't cope socially. I also have a problem, a clammy hand problem. This is a problem that I hope affects other people - it's when your hands decide to clam up. Meeting anyone is then the biggest trial ever. Now I'm at an age where shaking hands with new people is a standard I dread it. I have been known to fist bump over shaking hands. I'm a twenty year old white girl, I've never made fist bumping look less cool. First impressions for me are the worst. But I'd like to think once you get to know me your impression will fit who I actually am. You'll begin to understand how much I detest shaking hands with people and laugh at my jokes, even when they're not funny (which is never...). But that's because you've taken the time to get to know me, my identity.

I've already spoken about identity on a basic level, but now I feel I should speak about God's identity and how we can get to know it. The most obvious answer is the Bible. Where else would we find stuff about God being God then in the book about Him. As once described to me; 'The Bible is God's selfie' all we need to know about Him and see about Him is in this book. His identity is shaped in these pages, we get to know the real Him as we delve deeper into His word. A lot of us, as children would've been given this image of God - being the omnipresent being who lives in the sky with a grey beard - his son Jesus sitting next to Him with a brown beard and a very fetching striped number. We have this aesthetic view of God because of artists impressions and our own imagination, but to be honest the Bible doesn't really offer any sort of profile of God, we don't know the colour of his eyes or His shoe size, but instead we do know His character. We can see all around us His creation and all He has done so we know the power that He has, but we can't just leave it at that. If we want to know more of an artist we gain understand through research and interest in them as a person, we can't just look at their work and know all about them - we gain some understanding, our interpretation of the person, but that's about it. If we want to know God, we need to look into it. 

    The Bible offers plenty of descriptions of God - from start to finish, we can see stories of Him and we are able to gain an understanding of just how great He is. There are of descriptions of Him; 'God is love' (John 4:8) as we read the Bible we can get to know God. But this is it, we can't just get to know Him by remembering Bible verses we learnt as children, or Bible verses we see on bumper stickers - we must take time and invest in the word of God. (This does not mean flip it open and read the first thing you find - I did that once, it spoke about the wrath of God, Old Testament style - flipping scary stuff) We must read it & again not in the style of a story book. The Bible is (and I'm pretty sure this is a Mike Myers quote); Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth (Cringe). If we want to know God, read about Him - read the book that has saved many people's lives, that people have died for, that people live by - it's the only real way we can understand Him. (Watching Bruce Almighty will never give us a real sense of who God is - sorry about that.)

    I can tell you how amazing God is, His great works, His plans and how He has changed my life - but you need to experience it for yourself, you need to read the truth for you to understand it. We will only have a shallow perception - the aesthetic perception of Him if we don't strive to know Him. It seems almost obvious - read your Bible. And here's another obvious one - prayer and fellowship. How on earth do we expect to get to know someone if we don't talk to them, if we don't put time aside for them? As I've mentioned before, I'm in a long distance relationship with a great man of God - He is incredible, he challenges, encourages and blesses me (just showing off now). I love him with all my heart, he is my best friend and I know him better than anyone (and he knows me!) However, I wouldn't know him at all if I hadn't taken the time to get to know him, to find out stuff about him, to meet people who are crazy about him to, to know the people he loves & to love the people he loves. I talk to him everyday (to the annoyance of everyone) and I get alongside people he knows and loves. I've met his family and I truly love them, I've got to know his friends and again, I've gotten to know them personally as friends. I have made an effort. This is how we should approach God and how we get to know God. Get alongside people who adore God - who want to know more and are striving for the same goal (this means getting to know Christians - being part of a church, or being alongside other Christians). Speak to God - praying to God is key to getting to know Him and His power. Without talking to Him you'll struggle to know anything. Communication is key in any relationship - so why not this one? Prayer and fellowship is vital to getting to know God's identity. Reading the Bible does wonders, but it isn't enough. We must get to know God on a personal level and be in a relationship with Him. Being a Christian isn't a religion, it's a faithful, loving, passionate relationship.

You don't know people when you first meet them, when you don't take the time to get to know them. God is the same, we can't settle for an aesthetic view of Him, created by artists hundreds of years ago. We must look to get to know Him more through His word, through praying and through fellowship. It's the only way in which we can truly know God - the ultimate, the beginning and the end. 

'I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end' (Revelation 22:13)

Blessings

May

x

Invisible friends are easier to forgive

I had an enemy when I was a child - her name was Said and she was from the Philippines and tried to split me and my then boyfriend (Cornelius) up all the time. I had a real issue with this girl, she constantly sabotaged my relationship and I'd always get into fights with her. My parents never saw her and couldn't understand my anguish and despair over my hatred toward this girl. She was invisible (as was Cornelius), but that's not the point, she ruined my first ever relationship and I still can't quite get over it. Just to clarify, Cornelius and I eventually did split up, I still think about him every day...

    Although Said was imaginary and I never really hated her I understand that it's not an easy world to grow up in. People will come and attempt to ruin things in your life, you won't get on with everybody and there will be people we would quite happily class as 'enemies'. They sometimes don't even know they're our enemies. We smile and wave at them happily - like nothing's going on, when really we're plotting a viscous tweet about them right there and then (that'll teach them...). Other times it's obvious we don't like them. Some of us our blessed with a chronic face disorder which makes us look displeased all the time, especially when we see them. We know it's not right, or Christian - but sometimes we can't help ourselves, especially if this person has done something that's not particularly Holy (even more so if they're a Christian - heaven forbid they do something wrong!)

   This subject is almost a taboo, it's again one of those things that we can so easily talk about, but putting it into practice is a whole other kettle of fish. As Christians we are taught to love other people; 'But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you' (Matthew 5:44) but this is so tough! We live in a world where we're meant to hate our ex's and our friend's ex's and our friend's friend's ex's and our ex's friend's dog's ex's - and it's easy to do so. It is so easy to find bad things to say and think about people, we find it difficult (especially when it's tough loving them) to show kindness toward people. This is where we need to change. We need to look at ourselves and our attitudes toward other people and alter a few things. 

    Hatred brings out bitterness in people, it brings out the worst side in the nicest people. We struggle to feel good if we have an issue with somebody, but worst of all we struggle with feeling close to God. It is written that when we have hatred we may never get to know God or be close to God in a full and tangible sense; 'Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in the darkness' (1 John 2:9) This Bible verse in particular resonates with me. When I was younger I fell out with my older brother, Alex and told my mum I hated him. My mum quoted that verse to me and I felt awful - I vowed to myself I'd never hate him ever again (I took the word brother to be literal at this point) - however, I still argue with Alex now..I don't hate him, but he is annoying at times! We cannot hate somebody and also be in the light with Christ. Hatred does not allow that - you have probably heard of the quote; 'Darkness is a lack of light' well hatred is a lack of love. If we have hatred toward other people we struggle to find love in Christ. But it is a struggle and it's real - it's difficult to make it ever go away. When we have a certain attitude toward other Christians - that is where it can be truly damaging. We are told not to speak badly of people chosen by God (basically don't bad mouth preachers, pastors, ministers etc.) but to encourage them. However, when we find ourselves in situations where we have anger toward people it's difficult to get out of it. But the damage this does, not only to you but the people around you and the person you hate is detrimental. Other Christians are not easier to love then non-Christians, but we do all love Christ and if we find ourselves bad mouthing them to other people - especially non-Christians we get ourselves into a downward spiral of bad witnessing and total and utter wrong doing in the eyes of God.

    I get that it's tough, it's something that I really struggle with myself - loving people who have done wrong by me - let alone praying for them - is a pretty foreign concept. But it's genuinely the only real way we are able to get over it. Hatred gets you nowhere, love gets you through. Before we come to Christ we must settle our differences, now this is a tough on - sometimes you can't actually do it, because the person isn't with you/doesn't know you even hate them, but getting it right with them in your heart is where it really matters. Being able to love somebody with your heart is effort, but with prayer and petition it becomes one of those things that is easy when Christ has control. Pray into the situations, when there is real hatred pray for a softening of your heart and a blessing over their life (it sounds like the worst thing ever, but it's so good - it gives such freedom!), pray that God will help you and enable you to forgive them. If you do need to sort it with the person, seek God before every situation/conversation with them. Ask Him to guide you with what to say and what to do. Love is easy once you get the hang of it. Only when we have had complete freedom from ill feeling toward people are we able to get deeper into God's grace and love. I'm not saying for one moment that I never 'hate' anybody, or talk badly about someone who has done wrong by me - but that has got me nowhere and I can honestly say that the only way I have been able to deal with it is through prayer and petition, blessing and honouring all that the particular person has done (and for a huge prayer for softening my heart).

Hating people is easy, we are pretty much taught how to do it. Forgiveness is tough. I found it difficult to forgive Said (and she wasn't real), but the freedom you get from it is unattainable through hatred. Love always wins.

Blessings.

May

x